What do dairy products say when they make a basketball shot? Colby!
My friend is always trying to make cows nervous. She's a fan of milkshakes.
I think I drank some expired milk. I just have a gut feeling.
Did you hear about the cow that committed murder? It was in cow-ld blood! How dairy.
Why could I not imagine to have milk in the afternoon? Because it was beyond my wildest creams.
I tried out a lactose free diet. I stopped because I couldn’t figure out how to milk the almonds.
Why is milk taller than you?
Because it's always pasteurize
I replaced the milk in the carton with lemon juice. Everyone was really sour about it.
Why did the crazy man lose his job at the dairy factory? He was a danger to himself and udders.
I tried wild ox milk
Turns out I'm yak-tose intolerant
What do you call a cow that doesn’t produce any milk? A milk dud!
What do you call the greatest cheese to every live on the earth? Legen-dairy!
What if soy milk is just regular milk that's trying to introduce itself in Spanish?
Did you know that milk is a very religious beverage? Most of them are pastor-ized.
Where do Russians get all of their milk from? Mos-cow!
What do you call a cow that only produces almond milk? One that went nuts.
Did you hear about the CEO that got fired at the dairy farm? He was skimming a little bit off the top.
You should never give milk to someone who is open minded and hasn't yet had breakfast. They're lack-toast and tolerant.
I'm worried that the milk I got this morning was from a cloned cow. It tasted exactly like the milk I had yesterday.
What did the farmer yell out when ducks invaded his dairy farm? Cheese and crackers!
How do you milk sheep ?
Release another iPhone.
What would you call someone who cheats others while selling milk? A skim artist.
I thought I'd have some evaporated milk on my pudding. But when I opened it, it was empty.
I tried finding the dairy factory last night, but I had no luck. I must have lost my whey.
Cashier: Sir, would you like me to put your milk in a bag?
Dad: I would much rather keep it in the carton!
The thing about milk-inspired puns is you only reach 2% of their potential.
Dad: Did you hear about the cow that was arrested?
Kids: No.
Dad: He was uddermining the authorities.
What do you call yogurt that is terrified of other dairy products? A cow-ard!
Where did the milk write everything about her life? In her dairy.
Why does a cow hate artificial milk? Because the substance is pow-dairy.
There was a stampede out on the dairy farm. It was udder chaos.
What did the expired milk say after being picked up way past its due date? It was well beyond their wildest creams.
Have you heard about the movie that involved haunted dairy items? I believe it is called Paranormal Activia.
If there was a material made of milk which could store electricity...
...it would be called buttery.
Dad: How does a farmer keep his cows in line?
Kids: How?
Dad: He keeps them a-cow-ntable!
Astronauts can't open milk bottles in space. 'In space, no one can. Here, use cream'.
Why do milking stools only have three legs? The cows keep the udder safe.
I introduced chocolate to milk. They did a chocolate milk shake.
I sent my cows to bed at 8pm last night. I told them 'it's pasteur bedtime'.
How do you know if milk is expired? The smell is dairy bad!
I can't drink milk. I lactose genes required to digest it.
I waited over an hour for my cappuccino and when it arrived there was too much milk and not enough coffee. Still, better latte than never.
I bought a really small cow last week. I really wanted to try condensed milk.
I tried to milk my cow last night, but nothing I did seemed to work. It was an udder failure.
The doctor advised I tried a milk bath. I asked if it needs to be pasteurized. No, just above the knees she replied.
Why do workers at the dairy factory always need a charger? Their milk is stuck at 1%.
Some people prefer milk after it has churned. I guess they find it butter that way.
Don't use raw milk to make butter
It's not worth the whisk
Mom: *Struggling to make a decision between 1% or 2%.
Dad: Milk up your mind!
Do you know the hardest part about making skimmed milk? Having to throw the cows across the lake.