What did the lovesick pig sing to his girlfriend? Don't go bacon my heart!
You know I always wanted to open my own sandwich shop. I would have all the meat and bread money could buy...
Problem was I was afraid something would go a rye
What did the hamburger coach tell his team after they lost the first round? “You have to keep frying, you can’t give up”.
What’s the best thing about being a butcher? You get to meat the best people.
My doctor told me to cut down on red meat.
So, could you brown it up a bit?
I have a friend who has been diagnosed with a phobia of sausages. She always fears the wurst.
What do you call a group of butchers coming together? A meating.
What do you call a sausage that's been to the doctor? Cured meat!
I’ve been told that I need to stop making puns about meat… But I just can’t stop cold turkey.
What is a butcher’s favorite Elvis Presley song? Love Meat Tenders.
Why did the hamburger dress up as a computer? Because he wanted to be a Big Mac.
I met a girl in a vegetarian restaurant who said she recognized me, but I have literally never seen herbivore.
Some types of meat like to play around a lot. These are generally the game types.
The hotdog severely fell behind in school which is why he has to ketchup.
No one likes sausage puns, they are the wurst!
What is the most affordable type of meat? Deer, it is always under a buck a pound.
Did you hear about the man who used to be addicted to eating raw meat? Don't worry, he's cured now!
What type of relationships do hotdogs like to have? A frank relationship, they can’t stand lies.
Pirates used to make a delicious snack for themselves by crossing pate with flowers. They called it “lily livered”.
Eating no meat except fish is really bothersome.
I should stop being a Pesky-tarian.
What do you call a group of cows that are on top of a hill? High steaks.
I love meat. I think going vegetarian would be a big missed steak.
Why did the pig become an actress? Because she was a real ham!
Where do cows go to celebrate New Years Eve? To a meat ball!
Why was the burger sad? Because he had the blue cheese.
Why did the thief steal a pig? Because he was a hamburglar.
What do you call a pig squished by sand? A ham sandwich.
Why are burgers bad at telling jokes? Because they all are cheesy.
Some people think anyone who sells meat is gross. But, people who sell fruit and vegetables are grocer.
Did you hear about the farmer who sold his sheep to slaughter because he wasn't making enough money from the wool? The situation went from baa-d to wurst!
I’m bacon you! Please stop with the meat puns!
It’s not often that you find an eye anywhere but on the face. Cows, however, have a rib eye.”
What's the most musical cut of chicken? The drumstick!
Have you heard about the pig who killed his own farmer? He did it to save his bacon.
What is a hair stylist's favorite steak? A flat iron!
What did the boss pig say to the pig worker for not working fast enough? “chop chop slow pork”.
What did the steak say to his enemy? I have a T-bone to pick with you!
What did the steak say to his girlfriend? You're the apple of my rib-eye!
What did the deer say to each other when they were trying to solve a difficult problem? This is such a deer-lemma!
Did you see the award-winning movie about a hot dog? It was an Oscar wiener!
What do you call a steak hurtling through space? A meat-ior!
I invited a turkey over for dinner. He was very late for dinner – when I asked him about it, he said he was busy getting dressed.
What cut of meat do you get from an extremely tired butcher?
A filet mid-yawn
There’s a suspicious email going around, with the subject line “Canned meat.” Don’t open it, it’s spam!
What would you call a steak that leaped off the table and ran away? Fast food, of course.
I met a chicken once; she was desperate to join a band. She even had her own drumsticks.
The butcher’s life was at steak when the meat market caught fire.
What’s the best pick up line for someone you meet in a steak restaurant? “Nice to meat you”, of course.”
Digital burgers are nothing but processed meat.
Are you a big fan of beef? I am. In fact, I could eat it until the cows come home.