What do you call a pig that practices karate? A pork chop!”
What do butchers say after they meet someone new? “Mince to meat you.”
Two hot dogs were having a race. One overtook the other, who called out “I see you’ve mustard the strength to ketchup with me!”
Make no bones about it, home made stock is a really good base for soups.
What do you call a steak hurtling through space? A meat-ior!
What is a butcher’s favorite Elvis Presley song? Love Meat Tenders.
Meat cutters are really no good at stand up comedy; they tend to butcher all the best jokes.
The hotdog severely fell behind in school which is why he has to ketchup.
What do you get when you cross a chicken and a cow? Roost beef!
Cows don’t make very good cops. They refuse to go on steak outs.
What do you call a group of cows that are on top of a hill? High steaks.
All the contestants at the pig Olympics were very happy with their prizes. They each won pork medallions.
What type of relationships do hotdogs like to have? A frank relationship, they can’t stand lies.
You know I always wanted to open my own sandwich shop. I would have all the meat and bread money could buy...
Problem was I was afraid something would go a rye
If anyone gets a suspicious email from me about canned meat, don’t open it. It’s spam!
Why did the FBI surround the president with cows? They were beefing up security!”
Have you ever tried kangaroo meat? I have. It was tasty, but it made me a bit jumpy.
I’m bacon you! Please stop with the meat puns!
Why did the thief steal a pig? Because he was a hamburglar.
Did you hear about the butcher who got into danger? His life was at steak!
The other day I asked an Alaskan guy if he wanted to eat some seal meat.
He wasn’t really inuit
What happened when the butcher backed up into the meat grinder? He got a little behind in his work!
As a butcher, let me advise you never to back up into the meat grinder. It will make you get a little behind in your work.
Did you hear about the farmer who sold his sheep to slaughter because he wasn't making enough money from the wool? The situation went from baa-d to wurst!
There’s a suspicious email going around, with the subject line “Canned meat.” Don’t open it, it’s spam!
It is really rare to find the most perfectly cooked steak.
Why was the burger sad? Because he had the blue cheese.
What did the judge say at the finale of the meat throwing competition? The steaks have never been higher!
The butcher’s life was at steak when the meat market caught fire.
What's the name of the meatiest Knight of the Round Table? Sir Loin!
Why was the burger sad after losing the race? Because the hotdog was the weiner.
If you’re looking for Valentine’s Day inspiration for a meat loving crush, try “Will you beef my Valentine?”
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef!
My doctor told me to cut down on red meat.
So, could you brown it up a bit?
Why didn't the butcher cross the road? He didn't want to brisket!
What did the boss pig say to the pig worker for not working fast enough? “chop chop slow pork”.
Some types of meat like to play around a lot. These are generally the game types.
Why are burgers bad at telling jokes? Because they all are cheesy.
I met a girl in a vegetarian restaurant who said she recognized me, but I have literally never seen herbivore.
What did the hamburger coach tell his team after they lost the first round? “You have to keep frying, you can’t give up”.
What do you call a cow with a twitch? Beef jerky!
What is a cow's favorite deli meat? Bull-ogna!
Why did the cow and the bull become so close? Because they became beef-friends.
You really ate dog meat? How was it?
.... ruff
What is a snowman’s favorite type of burger? A chilli cheese burger with iceberg lettuce.
What cut of meat do you get from an extremely tired butcher?
A filet mid-yawn
What’s the best thing about being a butcher? You get to meat the best people.
What's the most musical cut of chicken? The drumstick!
What did the burger meat say to the BBQ? “Is it meat you’re looking for?”
What did the steak say to his enemy? I have a T-bone to pick with you!