How do you get a Minecraft themed party started? Let them eat cake.
Soft fruits make really supportive parents. Whenever their youngsters fail at something, they just smile and say “Have another bite at the cherry.”
Did you hear that the diet clinic was doing great business? They say that it’d really take your breadth away.
What would a pineapple say to a pineapple pie? You have some crust.
What happens when no one comes to your birthday party? You can have your cake and eat it too.
What do horses like to put on their egg salad sandwiches?
MayoNAYS!
Did you hear the one about the apathetic vegetable?
It didn't carrot all.
What did the pastry chef say to his unsupportive father?
“Donut hole me back.”
Why do wookies love chocolate chip cookies? Because they are chewy.
I like fried chickpeas, but I shouldn't eat them. Every time I do I falafel.
Why didn’t the mom peanut give her children a nutty chocolate bar? Because the sugar makes them bounce off the wal-nuts.
What do citrus fruits use to get dates?
Pickup limes.
What happens when no one comes to your birthday party?
You can have your cake and eat it too.
Did you hear about the cheese shop that was destroyed by a tornado?
All that’s left is da brie.
What is the best way to make gold soup? By adding 22 carrots in it.
I was going to tell you a joke about an egg but it's not all it's cracked up to be.
Why have less scato when you can have mo’ scato?
Why do farmers make terrible comedians?
Their jokes are corny!
Did you hear about the unlucky man who bought some bananas? They were empty.
What did the fans say to the band named after a famous chickpea spread?
Hummus a tune.
Having pineapple on a pizza is quite like going down on a cousin: It might taste good, but something is not right.
Did you hear about the sign on the bakery that got everyone talking? It said “I knead dough to live.”
Last time I was in France I wanted to ask a question about strawberries
But I wasn't sure how to fraise it.
What did the insulted orange say to the kiwi? Ex-squeeze-me?
What's black, white, orange, and waddles? A penguin carrying a Jack-o-lantern.
What Christmas carol do candy bars sing? Almond Joy To The World.
Patient: Doctor, I get heartburn every time I eat birthday cake." Doctor: Next time, take off the candles.
What is a cheese lover’s favorite track and field event?
The curdles.
How can you drop an egg six feet without breaking it?
By dropping it seven feet. It won’t break for the first six.
How do little avocados get what they want?
They spread it on thick.
What did the steak say to his girlfriend? You're the apple of my rib-eye!
My son ate daffodil bulbs instead of onions
But that's really serious! Is he in hospital?
Yes, he's still a bit yellow, but he should be coming out in the spring.
How do you describe an onion which is in its early stages after birth? You say it is in its onion-ic period of its life.
My son just tried to tell me a joke about pumpkins.
Oh, gourd, was it awful.
Why do we put candles on top of a birthday cake? Because it's too hard to put them on the bottom!
I like you a latke!
What happens when two coffee lovers disagree on their favorite roast? It turns into a heated debate.
My town always holds a contest to see which beer drinker's belly is biggest by seeing how far it goes past a line...
That's the paunch-line.
What is a chocolate covered car called?
A Ferrari Rocher
Did you hear about the cheese failed to medal at the olympics? It fell at the final curdle
You might be startled to see a hamburger working out in your local gym. Don’t worry, they’re just there because they want better buns.
My brother gave me whole milk, but I can only have nut milk with my cereal. How dairy!
My daughter picked up a piece of fruit and asked, "Is this a pear?"
"No," I replied, "there is only one."
What do you call an apple that's been around the world? Johnny Appleseed.
What did the pickle say to the lemon?
I relish our time together
What should you do if you drop a root vegetable face down?
Turnip over.
What’s the perfect gift for someone who is always raisin’ the bar? Oatmeal
raisin.
When you see something red that goes up and down, chances are it is a strawberry in an elevator.
What did the steak say when he came across his nemesis? Ah, we meat again!”
I had no clue how much lettuce to buy, so I called my wife from the grocery store.
Turns out two heads are better than one.