Why did the one legged clown leave the cheese circus? Because he couldn't get his stilton.
What day to eggs hate the most?
Fry-day.
Where's the best place to get information about eggs?
The hen-cyclopedia.
What's an egg's favorite tree?
A y-oak tree.
Why do hens lay eggs?
Because if they dropped them, they'd break.
What do you call someone who eats too many eggs?
An egg-oholic.
When I was younger, I once smashed up a nest of heron's eggs.
No egrets.
I steal my eggs from my next door neighbor.
I prefer them poached.
Why can't you tease egg whites?
Because they can't take a yolk.
My son's has never really had much of an appetite.
But suddenly today he's eaten a dozen Kinder eggs whole.
He's full of surprises.
A man walks into a bar with a fried egg on his head.
The bartender asks, "Why have you got a fried egg on your head?"
The man replies, "Because boiled eggs fall off."
What did the Egg say to the boiling water? It's going to take awhile to get me hard I just got layed by some chick!
Who tells the best egg jokes?
Comedi-hens.
What kind of eggs does a confused chicken lay?
Scrambled eggs.
I never count my chickens before they're hatched.
Because they're eggs.
I was going to tell you a joke about an egg but it's not all it's cracked up to be.
I went to the store today and bought some really oddly shaped eggs.
Now I can't find them. I think they've been mislaid.
How did the egg get up the hill?
It scrambled up.
What do you get if a chicken lays an egg on top of a barn?
An eggroll.
Why did the egg go to school?
To get egg-ucated.
How do eggs get around?
On a s-egg-way.
What does a meditating egg say?
Ohmmmmmmmlet.
What sport are eggs best at?
Running.
How do monsters like their eggs?
Terri-fried.
I was visiting my dear old Grandpa the other day when he said to me, "Let me give you a bit of advice. You can't make an omelette..."
"Without breaking eggs?" I finished for him.
"No. You can't make an omelette," he said, as he scraped it into the bin.
Where do eggs go on holiday?
New Yolk.
What did the egg say to the clown?
You crack me up.
Egg puns are the most egg-citing.
Eggs - the original boneless chicken.
What crime is an egg most afraid of?
Poaching.
Where do Eskimos keep their eggs?
In the egg-loo.
How many French eggs do you need?
One egg is un oeuf.
My dad always used to tell me, "Never put all your eggs in one basket."
Which is probably why we lost the Easter egg hunt.
What did the egg do when it saw the frying pan?
It scrambled.
If you can't beat them...
Just have your eggs fried.
Eggs are going up again.
That'll surprise a few chickens.
My son's asked for a strange Christmas present this year. It's really cheap though so I don't mind.
I'm not sure why he wants an eggs box though.
I saw an egg behaving oddly today.
It was probably just a bit egg-centric.
Why did the hen lay her egg on the axe?
She wanted to hatchet.
What's an egg's favorite movie?
Over Easy Rider.
How do comedians like their eggs?
Funny side up.
I saw a sign earlier that said, "Free Range Eggs."
I've never heard of Range Eggs before but at least they were free so I took some.
How does a hen leave its house?
Through the eggs-it.
Who wrote the book "Great Egg-spectations"?
Charles Chickens.
An egg walks into a bar...
And makes a real mess.
I was walking past the store today when I saw a sign saying, "All items one-third off."
So I bought a dozen eggs. Unfortunately four of them were rotten.
What type of egg refuses to come out of his shell?
An egg-arophobic.
Because the platypus both lays eggs and produces milk,
It is one of the few animals that can make its own custard.
What did Snow White call her chicken?
Egg White.
Why is the chef so mean?
He beats the eggs.