What wisdom did the daddy cheese pass down to his son?
A curd in the hand is worth two in the bush.
Why was the cheese asked to leave the restaurant?
The cook said “we don’t serve your rind here”.
What do you call cheese who attends art openings?
Cultured.
I have an addiction to cheddar cheese.
But it's only mild.
What kind of cheese protects a castle?
Moat-zarella.
What do you call referential cheese?
Feta.
What covers the floor of the motzarella forest?
Cheese sticks.
What do you call cheese that is acting crazy? A basket queso.
What were the cheese’s wedding vows?
To havarti and to hold.
Who were the first cheese lovers ever?
Edam and Eve.
Why doesn’t anyone like to hang out with crackers?
Someone always cuts the cheese.
Why does cheese look normal? Because everyone else on the plate is crackers.
What did the commedian say after after a bad set?
That crowd was laughtose intolerant.
How do you know it’s getting kind of serious with a cheese lover?
They tell you they are pretty fondue you.
How does the Cheese Detective choose his clients?
On a queso by queso basis.
What do you get when you cross a goblin and cheese? Muenster cheese.
What cheese should you use to hide a horse? Mascarpone.
What do you call a piece of cheese that likes to shoot hoops? Swiss!
What does a cheese like to drink after a long day?
Morbier.
What do you tell your friend after she breaks up with a cheese lover?
You’re cheddar off without him!
Why didn’t the chef slice his cheese?
He had grater plans.
What did the street cheese say after he got attacked by several blades? I've felt grater.
What is a lions favourite cheese? Roar-quefort
When shouldn't you believe a word your cheese is saying? When it's too Gouda to be true.
Did you hear what happened when the decorator painted his wife with cheese? He double Gloucester!
What is a cannibal’s favorite cheese?
Limb-burger.
What do you call a grilled cheese sandwich that's all up in your face? Too close for comfort food.
How do you know when a cheese is full of himself?
Whatever you say, he’ll say he is feta.
Why do cheeses make bad musicians?
They’re always sharp.
Why did the cheese lover hide cheese in the back of his fridge?
In queso emergency.
Whats the best cheese to coax a bear down a mountain? Camembert (Come On Bear)
How did the cheese get such curly hair?
It got a permasan.
What did the cheese say to the other cheese? I smell something swiss-picious!
Why did the wheel act so bossy? Cause he was the "Big Cheese."
What do you call an oriental cheese? Parm-asian
What did one cheese say to the other during philosophy class?
“I dis a brie.”
Why does the Pope love Swiss cheese so much?
It’s hole-y.
What do you call a flying cheese?
A curd of prey.
What is a cheese lover’s favorite type of music?
R n’ Brie.
What does a cheese say when they look in the mirror in the morning?
Halloumi.
Did you hear about the guy who had an addiction to cheddar cheese?
It was only mild.
What did the cheese say when it looked in the mirror ? Halloumi (Hello me)
What did the Cheese salesman say? That cheese may be Gouda, but this one is Feta!
What Welsh cheese must you always eat with caution? Caerphilly
What kind of cheese to beavers eat?
Edam.
What cheese cries the most?
Babybel.
What do cheese makers dance to on halloween? The muenster mash!
What was the cheese’s strategy when it ran for president?
Make America grate again.
Why did the cheese shop owner finally quit the business?
He was tired of the daily rind.
What do you call a cheese that is an alcoholic? Livarot