What do you call cheese who attends art openings?
Cultured.
What kind of cheese to beavers eat?
Edam.
What do you feed the son of god? Cheeses of Nazareth.
What is Tom Hanks' favourite soft cheese? Philadelphia.
What is a cheese’s favorite kind of philosophy?
Epistemology and fetaphysics.
What did the commedian say after after a bad set?
That crowd was laughtose intolerant.
What pickup line can you use to pick up a cheese lover?
“Are you cheddar? ‘Cause you’re lookin’ sharp!”
What did mutter say to paneer? Tu cheese badi hai mast mast.
What did one cheddar cheese say to the other cheddar cheese at prom?
Looking sharp!
What did one cheese say to the other during philosophy class?
“I dis a brie.”
What is a pirate’s favorite cheese?
Ched-arrrrgh!
Where should you call if you find a bad cheese shop?
The feta business bureau.
What Welsh cheese must you always eat with caution? Caerphilly
What kind of cheese makes the best music?
Brieoncé.
What do you call cheese that is sad? Blue cheese.
What does a real cheese freak say when they come to your door?
“I’d like to talk to you about Cheesus.”
What happened after an explosion at a French cheese factory? All that was left was de brie.
Why doesn’t anyone like to hang out with crackers?
Someone always cuts the cheese.
Which search engine is popular amongst mice? Ask Cheese.
What covers the floor of the motzarella forest?
Cheese sticks.
What did the mom cheese tell the little boy cheese when he got hurt on his bike?
“Gotta take the gouda with the bad.”
What did one cheese tell the other cheese on Valentine’s day?
Brie mine.
Saw a great offer on cheese in Tesco today!
It was buy one get one brie.
Did you hear about the guy who forgot to use the colander when making mac and cheese?
His wife gave him a restraining order.
What did the blind man say after being handed a cheese grater? "That's the most violent book I've ever read."
What cheese surrounds a medieval castle? Moatzeralla
Which is the Richest Cheese in the world? Paris Stilton.
Did you hear about the guy who opened up a store where they only sell Swiss cheese?
It’s a hole business strategy.
Which is the most religious cheese? Swiss, because it is holy.
Did you hear what happened to the cheese after its breakup?
It got provolonely.
What do you call an oriental cheese? Parm-asian
What wisdom did the daddy cheese pass down to his son?
A curd in the hand is worth two in the bush.
What is a cheese lover’s favorite Village People song?
Nacho Man.
What did the aged cheddar say when his mom told him he couldn’t see a movie that was rated R?
“I’m mature for my age.”
What does a piece of cheese tell you during a game of tag?
Cheez it.
Why didn’t I believe what the cheese salesman told me?
It was too gouda to be true.
Did you hear about the cheese lover who took his girlfriend for granted?
How dairy.
What’s a good way to start a conversation with a cheese plate on Tinder?
“Hello. Is it brie you’re looking for?”
Why do cheeses make bad musicians?
They’re always sharp.
I have an addiction to cheddar cheese.
But it's only mild.
What does a cheese say when you ask him to share a secret?
He cantal.
What did Shakespeare say as he was making a cheese plate?
To brie or not to brie.
Why was the cheese asked to leave the restaurant?
The cook said “we don’t serve your rind here”.
Why does cheese look normal? Because everyone else on the plate is crackers.
What is a cheese lover’s favorite rap artist?
Feta wap.
How do you know when a cheese is full of himself?
Whatever you say, he’ll say he is feta.
What do you call referential cheese?
Feta.
What was the cheese’s strategy when it ran for president?
Make America grate again.
Why should you always bring a bag of tortilla chips to a party?
In queso emergency.
What does a cheese lover say when someone keeps messing around with them?
“You gouda brie kidding!”