What does a cheese say when they look in the mirror in the morning?
Halloumi.
Did you hear about the guy who forgot to use the colander when making mac and cheese?
His wife gave him a restraining order.
What do you call cheese that is sad? Blue cheese.
What activity should you do when you’re babysitting little cheeses?
Build a roquefort.
What do you call cheese that is acting crazy? A basket queso.
I have an addiction to cheddar cheese.
But it's only mild.
What cheese cries the most?
Babybel.
Did you hear what happened to the cheese after its breakup?
It got provolonely.
What kind of cheese do alcoholics eat?
Livarot.
What is a basketball players favorite kind of cheese? Swish cheese!
What cheese is made backwards?
Edam.
What do you tell a cheese going through a hard time?
Ricotta get through this.
What do you call a flying cheese?
A curd of prey.
What is a lions favourite cheese? Roar-quefort.
What Welsh cheese must you always eat with caution? Caerphilly
Which is the Richest Cheese in the world? Paris Stilton.
What kind of cheese do rodents like? Mousearella.
What does a cheese like to drink after a long day?
Morbier.
What did Shakespeare say as he was making a cheese plate?
To brie or not to brie.
What is a cheese’s favorite kind of philosophy?
Epistemology and fetaphysics.
Why couldn’t the cheese sleep?
He was scared there was a munster under the bed.
What cheese should you use to hide a horse? Mascarpone.
When do they smother a burrito in cheese? In best queso scenario.
Why did the cheese get in trouble?
It was up to no gouda.
What kind of cheese protects a castle?
Moat-zarella.
What kind of cheese to beavers eat?
Edam.
How do you know it’s getting kind of serious with a cheese lover?
They tell you they are pretty fondue you.
How do you get a mouse to smile?
Say cheese.
What is a cannibal's favourite cheese? Limburger
What does a lady in a mall do with a cheesey credit card? Go on a shopping brie.
What do you call an oriental cheese? Parm-asian
How did the cheese get such curly hair?
It got a permasan.
What is a cannibal’s favorite cheese?
Limb-burger.
What cheese do beavers like? eDam
Why didn’t the chef slice his cheese?
He had grater plans.
What do you call a piece of cheese that likes to shoot hoops? Swiss!
What do they say when you leave the cheese store?
Have a gouda day!
What happened after an explosion at a French cheese factory? All that was left was de brie.
Did you hear about the cheese lover who took his girlfriend for granted?
How dairy.
Which is the most religious cheese? Swiss, because it is holy.
What do you call a grilled cheese sandwich that's all up in your face? Too close for comfort food.
What do you call a socialite made of cheese?
Paris Stilton.
Saw a great offer on cheese in Tesco today!
It was buy one get one brie.
Do you want to hear a pizza joke? Never mind it's too cheesy.
Why should you always bring a bag of tortilla chips to a party?
In queso emergency.
Did you hear what happened when the decorator painted his wife with cheese? He double Gloucester!
What does a real cheese freak say when they come to your door?
“I’d like to talk to you about Cheesus.”
What drives cheese crazy?
That everyone around them is crackers.
What is a cheese lover’s favorite musician?
Mozart-arella.
What pickup line can you use to pick up a cheese lover?
“Are you cheddar? ‘Cause you’re lookin’ sharp!”