Why did the spy cross the road?
Because he was never on your side.
Why did the duck cross the road?
Because it thought it was a chicken.
Why did the chicken stop crossing the road?
It got tired of everyone making so many jokes.
Why did Chuck Norris cross the road?
He didn’t — the road moved back underneath him.
Why did the potato run across the road?
So it wouldn’t get mashed.
Why did the Roman chicken cross the road?
She was afraid someone would Caesar.
Why did the Communist wait till the last minute to cross the road?
He was Stalin.
Why did the lion cross the road?
He was bored of lion around.
Why did the queen cross the road?
To get to coronation street.
Why didn’t the skeleton cross the road?
Because he didn’t have the guts.
Why did the chicken use a bridge to cross the road?
He wanted to take the high way.
Why did the chicken cross the busy road?
It was feeling clucky.
Why did the elephant cross the road?
The chicken couldn’t be bothered anymore.
Why did the chicken cross the football field?
It was a fowl.
Why did the raccoon cross the road?
He saw you put out the garbage.
Why did the wolf take so long to cross the road?
It was pretending to be a snail.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
I don’t know, why?
I don’t know — I asked you!
Why did the corn cross the road?
Because it was being stalked.
Why did the chicken run across the road?
To get to the other side faster.
Why did the dog cross the road?
Because he was chasing the chicken.
Why did the fox cross the road?
She was chasing the chicken.
Why did the toilet paper cross the road?
It was stuck to the chicken’s foot.
Why did the farmer cross the road?
To get his chicken back.
Why did the dog cross the road twice?
He was playing Fetch with a boomerang.
Why did the coyote cross the road?
It was chasing the road runner.
How long did it take Lancelot to cross the road?
All knight.
Why did the turkey cross the road?
It was Thanksgiving Day, and it wanted people to think it was a chicken!
Why did the man with one hand cross the road?
To get to the second-hand shop.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
I don’t know, why?
To get to the loser’s house.
Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
The chicken!
Why didn’t the chicken cross the road?
Because there was a KFC on the other side.
Which bug always crosses the road?
A beetle.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To knock-knock on the door, walk into the bar, and change the lightbulb.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because it was free-range.
Why did the turkey cross the road?
To prove he wasn’t chicken!
Why didn’t the bicycle cross the road?
Because it was two tired!
Why did the goldfish cross the road?
Because the chicken was on holiday.
Why did my wife cross the road?
To go back to the same shoe shop we went to three hours ago.
Why did the czar cross the road?
To get to his car.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To bock traffic.
Why did Hans cross the road alone?
Hans wanted to travel solo.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
It was bored of just standing there.
Why did the monster truck drive on the sidewalk?
Because he didn’t want to run over the chicken!
What kind of cat always crosses the road?
A jaguar.
Why did the sheep cross the road?
To get to the baa-baa shop for a haircut.
Why did the dinosaur cross the road?
Because chickens didn’t exist yet.
Why did the clock cross the road?
It couldn’t wait.
Why did the horse cross the road?
To get to the apple store.
Why did the monkey cross the road?
Because the chicken retired.
Why did the baby chick cross the road?
It was a take-your-child-to-work day.
Why did the alphabet cross the road?
To get from Point A to Point B.
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