Why did the monkey cross the road?
Because the chicken retired.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side.
Why did the cow cross the road?
To get to the udder side.
A Duck is about to cross the road. A chicken runs out to stop him screaming "Don't do it, man - you'll never hear the end of it!"
How long did it take Lancelot to cross the road?
All knight.
What do you call a chicken crossing the road?
Poultry in motion.
What did the buffalo say when his son crossed the road?
-Bison.
Why did the dragon cross the road?
He was dragged on by his mum.
Why did the toddler cross the road?
He wanted to pet the chicken.
Why did the corn cross the road?
Because it was being stalked.
Why did the pillow cross the road?
It was picking up the chicken’s feathers.
Why did the lion cross the road?
He was bored of lion around.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
It was bored of just standing there.
Why did the farmer cross the road?
To get his chicken back.
How did the sushi cross the road?
It was rolling.
Why did the monster truck drive on the sidewalk?
Because he didn’t want to run over the chicken!
Why did my wife cross the road?
To go back to the same shoe shop we went to three hours ago.
Why did the dog cross the road?
To get out of the barking lot.
Why did the dog cross the road twice?
He was playing Fetch with a boomerang.
Why did the horse dance while crossing the road?
He was horsing around.
Why did the toilet paper cross the road?
It was stuck to the chicken’s foot.
Why did the czar cross the road?
To get to his car.
Why did the Communist wait till the last minute to cross the road?
He was Stalin.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
I don’t know, why?
To get to the loser’s house.
Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
The chicken!
Why didn’t the skeleton cross the road?
Because he didn’t have the guts.
Why did the bunny cross the road?
To go to the hare dresser.
Why did the rabbit cross the road?
It had to get from hare to there.
Why did the fish cross the ocean?
To get to the other tide.
Why did the chicken cross the football field?
It was a fowl.
Why did the horse cross the road?
To get to the apple store.
Why did the clock cross the road?
It couldn’t wait.
Why did the turkey cross the road?
It was Thanksgiving Day, and it wanted people to think it was a chicken!
Why did the sheep cross the road?
To get to the baa-baa shop for a haircut.
Why did the fish cross the road?
To get to its school.
Which bug always crosses the road?
A beetle.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because it was free-range.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To boldly go where no chicken has ever gone before.
Why did the cow cross the road?
So he could go to the MOO-vies.
Why did the goldfish cross the road?
Because the chicken was on holiday.
How did the egg cross the road?
It scrambled across!
Why didn’t the bicycle cross the road?
Because it was two tired!
Why did the chicken stop crossing the road?
It got tired of everyone making so many jokes.
How do animals know when to cross the road?
The chameleon changes from red to green.
Why did the turkey cross the road?
To prove he wasn’t chicken!
Why didn’t the flamingo cross the road?
Because he’s not a chicken.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
I’m sure it had its reasons.
Why did the engineer cross the road?
Because he looked in the files, and that’s what they did last time.
Why did the rooster cross the road?
He had something to cock-a-doodle dooo!
Why did the alphabet cross the road?
To get from Point A to Point B.
Why is everyone mad when the pig crosses the road?
Because he’s a road hog.
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