“I cannot go to school today," Said little Peggy Ann McKay. “I have the measles and the mumps, A gash, a rash and purple bumps. My mouth is wet, my throat is dry, I’m going blind in my right eye. My tonsils are as big as rocks, I’ve counted sixteen chicken pox And there’s one more--that’s seventeen, And don’t you think my face looks green? My leg is cut--my eyes are blue-- It might be instamatic flu. I cough and sneeze and gasp and choke, I’m sure that my left leg is broke-- My hip hurts when I move my chin, My belly button’s caving in, My back is wrenched, my ankle’s sprained, My ‘pendix pains each time it rains. My nose is cold, my toes are numb. I have a sliver in my thumb. My neck is stiff, my voice is weak, I hardly whisper when I speak. My tongue is filling up my mouth, I think my hair is falling out. My elbow’s bent, my spine ain’t straight, My temperature is one-o-eight. My brain is shrunk, I cannot hear, There is a hole inside my ear. I have a hangn
Starts off in the morning, wakes up at six, Grooms itself using its tongue and licks. I give it breakfast with a friendly pat. That's the daily morning of my cat.
Returns for lunch at one o' clock. Eats milk rice and then goes for a walk. Sometimes even hunts and catches a rat. That's the daily afternoon of my cat.
Naps after lunch outside my door. Sleeps so deeply, perhaps even snores. Doesn't like the ground; it prefers a mat. That's the daily evening of my cat.
Wakes up refreshed and comes for dinner. Does it eat too much? Shouldn't it be thinner? Eats and sleeps - hope it doesn't get fat. That's the daily night of my cat.
(M. Tarun Prasad)
Black and white Thick and furry Fast as the wind Always in a hurry Couple of spots Rub my ears Always comes when his name he hears Loves his ball; it's his favorite thing What's most fun for him? Everything! Great big tongue that licks my face Has a crate, his very own space Big brown eyes like moon pies He's my friend till the very end!
How long does it take a man to change the toilet paper? We don't know it's never happened. What's the definition of a woman's perfect lover? A man with a nine inch tongue who can breath through his ears.
A little girl and boy are fighting about the differences between girls and boys, and which one is better.
Finally, the boy drops his pants and says, “Here’s something I have that you’ll never have!”
The little girl is pretty upset by this, since it is clearly true, and runs home crying.
A while later, she comes running back with a smile on her face.
She sticks her tongue at the boy and says, “My mommy says that with one of these, I can have as many of those as I want!”
A man is walking along the street one morning, feeling hungry.
He sees a sign in the window of a restaurant that says, "Try our Exotic Breakfast now" so he walks in and sits down at a table.
The waitress comes over and asks what he wants.
The man asks, "What's your Exotic Breakfast?"
"Baked tongue of chicken," she proudly replies
The man shouts, "Baked tongue of chicken! Have you any idea how disgusting that is? I'd never even think about eating anything that came out of a chicken's mouth!
Urrghhh!!"
The waitress is a little taken aback, but stays calm and asks him, "No problem, sir. What would you prefer, then?"
The man says, "Just bring me some scrambled eggs."
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