Minute

God's Frame of Reference
God's Frame of Reference A man was taking it easy, lying on the grass and looking up at the clouds. He was identifying shapes when he decided to talk to God. "God", he said, "How long is a million years?" God answered, "In my frame of reference, it's about a minute." The man asked, "God, how much is a million dollars?" God answered, "To Me, it's a dime." The man then asked, "God, can I have a dime?" "In a minute."
I always get cuts and bruises because every single day, minute and second i keep on falling in love with you.
For his birthday, an old man’s nephews secretly hire a call girl for him. When he answers the door she’s standing there in a slinky black dress. She says, “I’m here to give you super se*.”

After thinking for a minute the old man replies, “I guess I’ll have the soup.”
Your brain's so minute that if a hungry cannibal cracked your head open, there wouldn't be enough to cover a small water biscuit.

(From tv show Blackadder)
I cut a dill with this spicy mami, but at the last minute she ginger mind.
What did the bear say when her date showed up too early?
I’ll be out in a minute, I’m bearly dressed.
A man comes home and tells his wife to tell him something that is going to laugh and cry.
Wife thinks for a minute and says... "of all your friends you have the biggest di*k."
“Gravity is the story of how George Clooney would rather float away into space and die than spend one more minute with a woman his own age”
I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it
Every 60 seconds, a minute passes.
What did the cowboy say when his dog ran away?
Now wait just a doggone minute.
A man gets up and heads off to work despondent that not one member of his family has wished him Happy Birthday. What an ungrateful lot he thinks.

When he gets to work his attractive secretary asks him what’s wrong and he explains.

“Why don’t I take you out to lunch to cheer you up,” she says.

After a lovely lunch and a couple of glasses of champagne, she says do you mind if we drop into my apartment on the way home.

Interested, he replies,” Sure!”

At her apartment she smiles, fixes him a drink, and then says, “I just have to slip into the bedroom for a minute.”

In a moment she’s back with a birthday cake, his family and all his friends.

And there’s him lying naked on the couch.
Two blondes were taking their first train trip to Warsaw on the train.
A vendor came down the corridor selling bananas which they’d never seen before.
Each bought one.
The first one eagerly peeled the banana and bit into it just as the train went into a tunnel.
When the train emerged from the tunnel, she looked across to her friend and said, “I wouldn’t eat that if I were you.”
“Why not?”
“I took one bite and went blind for half a minute.”
A blond rings up an airline.
She asks, "How long are your flights from America to England?"
The woman on the other end of the phone says, "Just a minute..."
The blond says, "Thanks!" and hangs up the phone.
Whats green and can jump a mile a minute?
A frog with hiccups.
A blond rings up an airline. She asks, "How long are your flights from America to England?" The woman on the other end of the phone says, "Just a minute..." The blond says, "Thanks!" and hangs up the phone.
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