Four

“Life begins at 40 – but so do fallen arches, rheumatism, faulty eyesight, and the tendency to tell a story to the same person, three or four times.”
Helen Rowland
One mamma cow and four baby calves. The first baby walks up to the mom and asks, "Momma, why is my name Rose?" The mommy cow replies, "Well honey, a rose petal fell on your head when you were born." The next calf comes up and asks, "Momma, why is my name Lily?" The mother replies, "Because honey, a lily petal fell on your head when you were born." The third baby comes up and asks, "Momma, why is my name Daisy?" The momma cow again replieds" Well, when you were born a daisy petal fell on your head." The final baby walks over and says, "Duh huh guh nuh!" The momma cow says, "Shut up, Cinderblock."
Wife was in the hospital and the nurse said she was calling the doctor to put in an IV
When he showed up, I said to him "I thought there'd be four of you".
My wife told my four year old daughter that she couldn’t use her plastic IKEA knife to slice mangos.
I said “Yeah kid, that’s just not going to cut it.”
An Englishman, a Frenchman, a Spaniard, and a German are all watching a dolphin do some excellent tricks.
The dolphin notices that the four gentlemen have a very poor view, so he jumps higher out of the water and calls out, 'Can you all see me now?' And they respond: 'Yes.' 'Oui.' 'Sí.' 'Ja.'
Little Johnny Counts to 10
Little Johnny Counts to 10 The teacher asks little Johnny if he knows his numbers. "Yes," he says. "My daddy taught me." "Can you tell me what comes after three?" "Four," answers little Johnny. "What comes after six?" "Seven," answers little Johnny. "Very good," says the teacher. "Your father did a very fine job. What comes after ten?" "A jack," answers little Johnny.
Did you hear that Notre Dame gave up four interceptions last week?
Knute Rockne would turnover in his grave!
There was a young man from Lahore
Whose limericks stopped at line four.
When asked why this was,
He responded, "Because."
Why do chicken coops have 2 doors?
Because if they had four doors they would be chicken sedans
Girlfriend was working on the motorcycle with me the other day...
She exclaimed "God! This is ridiculous. I need, like, four arms to do this!".

To which I replied "but honey, you DO have forearms!"
What has four legs and an arm?
A happy pitbull.
Doctor Doctor I've broken my arm in four places.
Docter: Well stop going to those 4 places then!
What did four of the last five presidents drink? Left-Tea.
What has eight arms and an IQ of 60? Four guys watching a football game.
What do you call an eternity? Four Blondes in four cars at a four way stop.
What has four legs and one arm?

A rottweiler at a park.