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Ten Jokes

Funny Marriage Quotes
“Take care of him. And make him feel important. And if you can do that, you’ll have a happy and wonderful marriage. Like two out of every ten couples.”

— Neil Simon
Garden Quotes
"Real gardeners buy at least ten thousand plants in the course of a lifetime without having the least idea where they'll put any of them when they get home."
— Anonymous
Football Puns
Do you know why an octopus is so good at Football?
It gets ten tackles a play.
Spider Puns
What do you call a spider with ten eyes?
A spiiiiiiiiiider.
Food Quotes
"In these difficult times, when so many people are having trouble finding enough to eat, we are extending the “five-second rule” to a full ten seconds."
– Ron Piraro
Sibling Puns
For years, my brother wanted to be an archeologist...
But ten years in, his career lies in ruins.
Friendship Quotes
“Best Friend: One million memories, ten thousand inside jokes, one hundred shared secrets.”
— Unknown
“Best Friend: One million memories, ten thousand inside jokes, one hundred shared secrets.”
— Unknown
Tableware Puns
I used to be part of a ten pin league. Our team name was 'Bowl Movement'.
Nurse Puns
Doctor: Nurse, how is that little girl doing who swallowed ten quarters last night?
Nurse: No change yet.
Music Pick Up Lines
Are you a tenor? Cuz you're the only ten I hear
Little Johnny Counts to 10
Little Johnny Counts to 10 The teacher asks little Johnny if he knows his numbers. "Yes," he says. "My daddy taught me." "Can you tell me what comes after three?" "Four," answers little Johnny. "What comes after six?" "Seven," answers little Johnny. "Very good," says the teacher. "Your father did a very fine job. What comes after ten?" "A jack," answers little Johnny.
Pun Puns
There’s a room with two tables and ten people. One table has soup, and the other table has a punch bowl. All ten people are lined up at the soup table.
Now’s when you ask: where’s the punchline?
Funny Health Quotes
"My doctor recently told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already." —Milton Berle
Funny Birthday Poems
Fifty is ten past forty
Age is but a number and counting time tends to bore me.
Cowboy Puns
In another town, the cowboy rides in wearing a paper suit. Paper pants, paper jacket, paper chaps. Even a paper holster!
He wasn't in town ten minutes before he was arrested for rustling.
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