Jokes > Tags > Guy

Guy

There was an Old Man with a poker,
Who painted his face with red oker
When they said, 'You're a Guy!'
He made no reply,
But knocked them all down with his poker.
Did you hear about the guy who put little G.I. Joe soldiers at the bottom of his coffee cup?
He’d heard that the best part of waking up is soldiers in your cup!
There once was a guy named Swartz,
whose dick was covered with warts,
but the girls would play,
with his dick anyway,
'cause good ol' Swartz came in quarts!
Did you hear about the guy who forgot to use the colander when making mac and cheese?
His wife gave him a restraining order.
Did you hear about the guy who had an addiction to cheddar cheese?
It was only mild.
Did you hear about the guy who opened up a store where they only sell Swiss cheese?
It’s a hole business strategy.
So this guy with a premature ejaculation problem comes out of nowhere.
Some guy called me a tool. So I got hammered and nailed his girlfriend.
As a hooker was dressing, she turned to her customer and asked, "Have you just gotten out of prison?"
"Yeah," the guy replied. "How did you guess? Is it because I wanted to have se* from the rear?"
"Partly." She said. "But more because when we finished, you ran around in front of me, bent over, and shouted, 'YOUR TURN.'"
What did the pizza say to the delivery guy?
“You don’t pepper-own me.”

…and what did the delivery guy say in reply?
“Hey now, don’t get saucy.”
Need an ark?
I noah guy.
You might as well go for a younger guy. Why?
They never mature anyway.
I recently got a new job as a golf caddy, but I was fired after less than an hour.
The guy asked me for a sand wedge. I don't think he likes pickle.
A guy walks into the bank, pulls out a gun, points it at the teller and says, "Give me all your money or you’re geography!"
The teller replies, "Don't you mean history?"
The robber says, "Don't change the subject!"
The young loaf of bread ended up getting fired from his job because he kept loafing around. Poor guy.