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Guy

Have you heard about the guy who made a bomb out of a brain?
It was pretty mindblowing.
A guy named Bart walks into a bar, he immediately gets shot and dies. Who killed him?
The Bartender.
“Opera is when a guy gets stabbed in the back and, instead of bleeding, he sings.”
Robert Benchley
“I came from a real tough neighborhood. Once a guy pulled a knife on me. I knew he wasn’t a professional, the knife had butter on it.”
Rodney Dangerfield
Did you hear about the fumbled exorcism? The guy retained possession!
Have you heard about the guy who made a bomb out of a brain?
It was pretty mindblowing.
To Each Their Own Car...
To Each Their Own Car... Three guys are talking in a bar one day. They start talking about how their cars reflect their careers. The first guy says, "I'm a pimp and so I drive a cheap Escort." The second guy says, "I'm a herpetologist and so I drive a Dodge Viper." The third guy says, "I'm a proctologist, and I drive a brown Probe."
I saw a guy trying to cross a really busy street. Trying to be helpful, I said, “You know, there is a zebra crossing 50ft ahead.”
He said, “I hope he’s having a better luck than I am.”
The guy who got arrested for eating batteries…. He is to be charged in the morning.
Did you hear what the foolish gardener did?
The guy planted a light bulb and though he’d get a power plant.
I was at the beach and saw this guy in the water yelling, “Help, shark! Help!
I just laughed because I knew that shark wasn’t going to help him.
I saw a guy on the train holding a newspaper in front of his face.
He was behind The Times.
I told my boyfriend we could watch a dirty movie for his birthday and do what we saw in the video.
He was super excited... until I screwed the pizza guy.
When will a guy ignore even the hottest girl? Right after he "comes" inside. Why do little boys whine? Because they're practicing to be men.
What's the difference between a G-Spot and a golf ball? A guy will actually SEARCH for a golf ball.
To the guy in the wheelchair who stole my camouflage jacket:
You can hide, but you can't run.