Jokes > Tags > Red

Red

Do librarians like white wine?
No, they like theirs well red!
Red ship hits Blue ship...
Sailors marooned.
How do you measure the heaviness of a red hot chili pepper?
Give it a weigh, give it a weigh, give it a weigh now.
What goes: vroooom-schreech, vrooom-schreech, vroooom-schreech? A blonde at a flashing red light
The Tiny Firefighter
The Tiny Firefighter A firefighter was working on the engine outside the Station when he noticed a little girl nearby in a little red wagon with little ladders hung off the sides and a garden hose tightly coiled in the middle. The girl was wearing a firefighter's helmet. The wagon was being pulled by her dog and her cat. The firefighter walked over to take a closer look. "That sure is a nice fire truck," he said with admiration. "Thanks," the girl replied. The firefighter looked a little closer and discovered to his horror that the girl had tied the wagon to her dog's collar and to the cat's testicles. "Little partner," the firefighter said, "I don't want to tell you how to run your rig, but if you were to tie that rope around the cat's collar, I think you could go faster." The little girl replied thoughtfully, "You're probably right, but then I wouldn't have a siren."
Why did the nurse need a red pen at work?
In case she needed to draw blood.
What do you call corn with red, white and blue kernels?
Americorn.
A red ship and a blue ship collided in the ocean.
Apparently the survivors are marooned.
Did you hear about the red ship that collided with the blue ship?
All the sailors were marooned.
When should you stop for a glow worm? When he has a red light.
Why do some guys have Red Eyes after se*? Mace.
What is a red heads favorite drink?
Ginger Ale.
Why did the little girl color her paper heart pink rather than red?
She was feeling lighthearted.
Why did the tomato turn red? It saw the salad dressing!
Little Johnny and Jesus Christ
Little Johnny and Jesus Christ A Sunday School teacher of preschoolers told her students that she wanted each of them to have learned one fact about Jesus by the next Sunday. The following week she asked each child in turn what he or she had learned. Susie said, "He was born in a manger." Bobby said, "He threw the money changers out of the temple." Little Johnny said, "He has a red pickup truck but he doesn't know how to drive it." Curious, the teacher asked, "And where did you learn that, Johnny?" "From my Daddy," said Johnny. "Yesterday we were driving down the highway, and this red pickup truck pulled out in front of us and Daddy yelled at him, 'Jesus Christ! Why don't you learn how to drive?'"
My love life is like a game of minesweeper.
I ignore a bunch of red flags and it always blows up in my face.
Roses are red
Violets are blue
Brown is the color
Of elephant poo.