"What a man needs in gardening is a cast-iron back, with a hinge in it."
- Charles Dudley Warner
"I always thought a yard was three feet, then I started mowing the lawn."
- C.E. Cowman
“Plant carrots in January and you’ll never have to eat carrots.”
— Anonymous
"The best way to garden is to put on a wide-brimmed straw hat and some old clothes. And with a hoe in one hand and a cold drink in the other, tell somebody else where to dig."
- Texas Bix Bender, Don't Throw in the Trowel
“Gardening. Cheaper than therapy (until your spouse adds up the receipts).”
— Anonymous
“I’m not aging, I just need repotting.”
— Anonymous
"What does the letter "A" have in common with a flower?
They both have bees coming after them."
- Kim Roblin
"When I asked you to water the plants,
I did not expect you'd unzip your pants."
- Mike Garofalo
“You know you’re a gardener when you’re happy to devote three months of your life growing tomatoes to save $1.27.”
— Anonymous
“Anyone who has time for drama is not gardening enough”
— Anonymous
"I have a rock garden. Last week three of them died."
- Richard Diran
“Gardeners know the best dirt.”
— Anonymous
"Gardening requires lots of water - most of it in the form of perspiration."
- Lou Erickson
“I just want to let you know that if you ever need to have a plant killed, I’m the person for that job.”
— Anonymous
"The philosopher who said that work well done never needs doing over never weeded a garden."
- Ray D. Everson
“Gardener’s recipe: one-part soil, two-parts water, three-parts wishful thinking.”
— Anonymous
"A perfect summer day is when the sun is shining, the breeze is blowing, the birds are singing, and the lawn mower is broken."
- James Dent
“An addiction to gardening is not all bad when you consider all the other choices in life.”
— Cora Lea Bell
A weed is a plant that is not only in the wrong place but intends to stay.”
— Sara Stein
"Every garden is unique with a multitude of choices in soils, plants and themes. Finding your garden theme is as easy as seeing what brings a smile to your face."
- Teresa Watkins