“Don’t wear perfume in the garden – unless you want to be pollinated by bees.”
— Anne Raver
“Gardener’s recipe: one-part soil, two-parts water, three-parts wishful thinking.”
— Anonymous
“Anyone who has time for drama is not gardening enough”
— Anonymous
A weed is a plant that is not only in the wrong place but intends to stay.”
— Sara Stein
“Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.”
— Anonymous
"The philosopher who said that work well done never needs doing over never weeded a garden."
- Ray D. Everson
Housework is for people who don’t know how to garden.”
— Anonymous
"What a man needs in gardening is a cast-iron back, with a hinge in it."
- Charles Dudley Warner
“An addiction to gardening is not all bad when you consider all the other choices in life.”
— Cora Lea Bell
"What does the letter "A" have in common with a flower?
They both have bees coming after them."
- Kim Roblin
"Your first job is to prepare the soil. The best tool for this is your neighbor's motorized garden tiller. If your neighbor does not own a garden tiller, suggest that he buy one."
- Dave Barry
"I bought an ant farm. I don't know where I am going to get a tractor that small!"
- Steven Wright
“You know you’re a gardener when you’re happy to devote three months of your life growing tomatoes to save $1.27.”
— Anonymous
"Real gardeners buy at least ten thousand plants in the course of a lifetime without having the least idea where they'll put any of them when they get home."
— Anonymous
"You can lead a horticulture but you can't make her think."
- Dorothy Parker
“Money can’t buy happiness. But it can buy plants, and that’s the same thing.”
— Anonymous
“Gardeners know the best dirt.”
— Anonymous
“I probably wouldn’t kill so many houseplants if they could scream for food and water the way my pets and children do.”
— Anonymous
"Gardening requires lots of water - most of it in the form of perspiration."
- Lou Erickson
"When did my wild oats turn to prunes and all bran?"
- Lucy Parker