"I have no plants in my house. They won't live for me. Some of them don't even wait to die, they commit suicide."
- Jerry Seinfeld
Gardening is a matter of your enthusiasm holding up until your back gets used to it
— Author Unknown
“Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.”
— Anonymous
"There's one good thing about snow, it makes your lawn look as nice as your neighbor's."
- Clyde Moore
"There are no gardening mistakes, only experiments."
— Janet Kilburn Phillips
“Cauliflower is a cabbage with a college education.”
— Mark Twain
"A man should never plant a garden larger than his wife can take care of."
- T.H. Everett
“Plant carrots in January and you’ll never have to eat carrots.”
— Anonymous
“Weeds are nature’s graffiti.”
— Janice Maeditere
“Anyone who has time for drama is not gardening enough”
— Anonymous
"I have a rock garden. Last week three of them died."
- Richard Diran
All gardeners know better than other gardeners.”
— Chinese Proverb
Growth takes time. Be patient. And while you’re waiting, pull a weed.
— Emilie Barnes
“I’m not aging, I just need repotting.”
— Anonymous
“Gardener’s recipe: one-part soil, two-parts water, three-parts wishful thinking.”
— Anonymous
"Bulb: potential flower buried in Autumn, never to be seen again."
- Henry Beard
"How do you compare apples and oranges?
By their nutritional value."
- Marshall Elizer
"Gardening requires lots of water - most of it in the form of perspiration."
- Lou Erickson
"What does the letter "A" have in common with a flower?
They both have bees coming after them."
- Kim Roblin
“If you are not killing plants, you are not really stretching yourself as a gardener.”
— J.C. Raulston
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