Funny Good Morning Quotes

Start your day with a smile with these humorous quotes!

Funny Good Morning Quotes

"Every morning is good; it’s not his fault that someone didn’t sleep well."
– Unknown
“When late morning rolls around and you’re feeling a bit out of sorts, don’t worry; you’re probably just a little eleven o’clockish.”
– Unknown
“Why can’t the morning news ever say ‘Today has been canceled, now go back to sleep.”
– Unknown
“Why do they call it ‘beauty sleep’ when you wake up looking like a troll.”
– Unknown
“A yawn is a silent scream for coffee…”
– Unknown
“Good Morning! Open your mouth wide! I’ll just keep going and put that coffee right in there!”
– Unknown
“I smiled right after getting up. I think I dislocated my face. Good Morning!”
– Unknown
“Good morning world! Your little ray of sarcastic sunshine has arrived.”
– Unknown
“I’m only a morning person on December 25th.”
– Unknown
“Help…I’ve ran out of weekend!”
– Unknown
“There is nowhere morning does not go.”
– Leah Hager Cohen
“Luckily, today has been canceled. Go back to bed.”
– Unknown
“Twinkle twinkle sleepy star, wake up now it’s the 11th hour, up above the world so high, the sun has risen in the sky.”
– Mickey Nice
“She says you’re not awake until you’re actually out of bed and standing up.”
– Richelle Mead
“There should be a rule against people trying to be funny before the sun comes up.”
– Kristen Chandler
"Woke up this morning with a terrific urge to lie in bed all day and read."
– Raymond Carver
"The easiest time to fall asleep is just after turning off the alarm clock."
– Unknown
"I always write “Wake Up” on my To-Do-List so I can at least accomplish one thing a day."
– Unknown
"I can rise and shine, just not at the same time."
– Unknown
"People who say “Good morning” should be forced to prove it."
– Unknown
"Work out in the morning, before your brain figures out what you’re doing."
– Unknown
"When I woke up this morning my girlfriend asked me, “Did you sleep good?” I said, “No, I made a few mistakes.”
– Steven Wright
"I always say “Morning” instead of “Good Morning”. If it were a good morning, I would still be asleep in bed instead of talking to people."
– Unknown
"I orchestrate my mornings to the tune of coffee."
– Terri Guillemets
"Do you wake up as I do, having forgotten what it is that hurts or where, until you move?"
– Jeanette Winterson
"There are two ways of waking up in the morning. One is to say, 'Good morning, God,' and the other is to say, 'Good God, morning'!"
– Fulton J. Sheen.
"In the morning a man walks with his whole body; in the evening, only with his legs."
— Ralph Waldo Emerson
"I arise in the morning torn between a desire to improve the world and a desire to enjoy the world."
— E. B. White
"Early morning cheerfulness can be extremely obnoxious."
— William Feather
“I need to get up; my coffee needs me.”
— Unknown
"The best part of waking up is still a mystery to me."
— Uknown
"I hate mornings, they start so early."
— Janet Evanovich
"Lose an hour in the morning and you will spend all day looking for it." — Richard Whately
"I wake up in the morning and lay in my bed waiting for my mom to prepare breakfast. And suddenly I remember that I’m the mom."
— Unknown
"When reality and dreams collide, typically it’s just your alarm clock going off.”
— Crystal Woods
"It sounds plausible enough tonight, but wait until tomorrow. Wait for the common sense of the morning."
— H.G. Wells
"The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office."
— Robert Frost
"I like coffee because it gives me the illusion that I might be awake."
— Lewis Black
"Today’s goals: Coffee and kindness. Maybe two coffees and then kindness."
— Nanea Hoffman
"My routine is to ride that snooze button as far as it will take me, take a quick shower, get dressed in the dark and bolt out the door."
— Willie Geist
"The average, healthy, well-adjusted adult gets up at seven-thirty in the morning feeling just plain terrible."
— Jean Kerr
"Even bad coffee is better than no coffee at all." — David Lynch
"Every morning is a battle between the superego and the id, and I am a mere foot soldier with mud and a snooze button on her shield."
— Catherynne Valente
“Progress isn’t made by early risers. It’s made by lazy men trying to find easier ways to do something."
— Robert Heinlein
“Keep the dream alive: Hit the snooze button.”
— Punit Ghadge
“I love the early hours of the day. It’s a nice place to visit but I wouldn’t want to live there.”
— James Lileks
“Good morning is a contradiction of terms.”
— Jim Davis
“So far as I know, anything worth hearing is not usually uttered at seven o’clock in the morning; and if it is, it will generally be repeated at a more reasonable hour for a larger and more wakeful audience.”
— Moss Hart
“Everyone wants me to be a morning person. I could be one, only if morning began after noon.”
— Tony Smite
“Morning will come, it has no choice.”
— Marty Rubin