"I'd like to connect with nature but there's no USB port" - Dan Masso
"Going on a hike is like having your car break down but on purpose."
- John Lyon
"Nature is by and large to be found out of doors, a location where, it cannot be argued, there are never enough comfortable chairs."
- Fran Lebowitz
"My idea of camping is falling asleep on the couch with the window open."
- Clarke Kant
"Camping is a humanitarian effort to help feed hungry mosquitoes."
- Melanie White
"I am not the type who wants to go back to the land; I am the type who wants to go back to the hotel."
- Fran Lebowitz
“When asked about my hiking plan I answered “Let’s summit up”.”
“Some people walk in the rain; others just get wet.” – Roger Miller
“I bought a new jacket for a hiking trip. It’s called a trail blazer.”
“Did you know the actual difference between hill and hell is just a fine line?”
“Climbing to the top of the mountain is fun, but everything is just downhill from there.”
“If you can find a path with no obstacles, it probably doesn’t lead anywhere.” – Frank A. Clark
“Hiking is just walking where it’s okay to pee.” – Demetri Martin
“Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time.” - Steven Wright
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“Hiking—much like drinking—is something that sounds more fun to the uninitiated than it actually is.” – Mindy McGinnis
“What on earth would I do if four bears came into my camp? Why, I would die of course. Literally sh** myself lifeless.” – Bill Bryson
“If the winter is too cold and the summer is too hot, you are not a hiker.”
“To hike is to complain.” – Dean Johnston
“Hiking is the only slightly less ugly stepsister of running.” – Lindy Hughes
“If there’s one thing I’ve learned from hiking, it’s that the early bird gets the face full of spider webs.”
“Mountains have a way of dealing with overconfidence.” – Hermann Buhl
“There. Right there is where you lost your darn mind!”
“I don’t get it. The trail looked so flat on the map.”
“Where are we? About halfway…to somewhere.”
"The closer you are to nature the further you are from idiots.”
“You are as helpful as a blister on a hike.”
“At some point in life, the world’s beauty becomes enough.”
“I chose the road less traveled and now I don’t know where I am.”
“I just wanna kick it in the woods with my birches.”
“Sleeping bags are the most soft tacos of the bear’s world.”
“Always hike with someone in worse shape than you. The bears out there will know.”
“When life gives you mountains, put those boots and start hiking.”
“I might look like I am listening to you, but in my mind, I am hiking.”
“Camping is not a date; its an endurance test. If you can survive camping with someone, you should marry them on the way home.”
“Bring a compass. It’s awkward when you have to eat your friends.”