“Bring a compass. It’s awkward when you have to eat your friends.”
“You are as helpful as a blister on a hike.”
“Hiking is just walking where it’s okay to pee.” – Demetri Martin
"I'd like to connect with nature but there's no USB port" - Dan Masso
“Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time.” - Steven Wright
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“Hiking—much like drinking—is something that sounds more fun to the uninitiated than it actually is.” – Mindy McGinnis
"Going on a hike is like having your car break down but on purpose."
- John Lyon
“Camping is not a date; its an endurance test. If you can survive camping with someone, you should marry them on the way home.”
“If you can find a path with no obstacles, it probably doesn’t lead anywhere.” – Frank A. Clark
“To hike is to complain.” – Dean Johnston
“Always hike with someone in worse shape than you. The bears out there will know.”
“Some people walk in the rain; others just get wet.” – Roger Miller
“Climbing to the top of the mountain is fun, but everything is just downhill from there.”
“I might look like I am listening to you, but in my mind, I am hiking.”
“I bought a new jacket for a hiking trip. It’s called a trail blazer.”
“If the winter is too cold and the summer is too hot, you are not a hiker.”
“If there’s one thing I’ve learned from hiking, it’s that the early bird gets the face full of spider webs.”
"The closer you are to nature the further you are from idiots.”
“Mountains have a way of dealing with overconfidence.” – Hermann Buhl
“Sleeping bags are the most soft tacos of the bear’s world.”
"My idea of camping is falling asleep on the couch with the window open."
- Clarke Kant
"Camping is a humanitarian effort to help feed hungry mosquitoes."
- Melanie White
“I don’t get it. The trail looked so flat on the map.”
“I chose the road less traveled and now I don’t know where I am.”
“I just wanna kick it in the woods with my birches.”
“There. Right there is where you lost your darn mind!”
“At some point in life, the world’s beauty becomes enough.”
“Hiking is the only slightly less ugly stepsister of running.” – Lindy Hughes
“When life gives you mountains, put those boots and start hiking.”
“Where are we? About halfway…to somewhere.”
"I am not the type who wants to go back to the land; I am the type who wants to go back to the hotel."
- Fran Lebowitz
"Nature is by and large to be found out of doors, a location where, it cannot be argued, there are never enough comfortable chairs."
- Fran Lebowitz
“What on earth would I do if four bears came into my camp? Why, I would die of course. Literally sh** myself lifeless.” – Bill Bryson
“When asked about my hiking plan I answered “Let’s summit up”.”
“Did you know the actual difference between hill and hell is just a fine line?”