“Hiking is just walking where it’s okay to pee.” – Demetri Martin
"I'd like to connect with nature but there's no USB port" - Dan Masso
“Did you know the actual difference between hill and hell is just a fine line?”
"My idea of camping is falling asleep on the couch with the window open."
- Clarke Kant
“Climbing to the top of the mountain is fun, but everything is just downhill from there.”
“When life gives you mountains, put those boots and start hiking.”
"I am not the type who wants to go back to the land; I am the type who wants to go back to the hotel."
- Fran Lebowitz
“If the winter is too cold and the summer is too hot, you are not a hiker.”
“I just wanna kick it in the woods with my birches.”
"The closer you are to nature the further you are from idiots.”
“Some people walk in the rain; others just get wet.” – Roger Miller
“I bought a new jacket for a hiking trip. It’s called a trail blazer.”
“Always hike with someone in worse shape than you. The bears out there will know.”
"Nature is by and large to be found out of doors, a location where, it cannot be argued, there are never enough comfortable chairs."
- Fran Lebowitz
“If you can find a path with no obstacles, it probably doesn’t lead anywhere.” – Frank A. Clark
“Hiking is the only slightly less ugly stepsister of running.” – Lindy Hughes
“What on earth would I do if four bears came into my camp? Why, I would die of course. Literally sh** myself lifeless.” – Bill Bryson
“To hike is to complain.” – Dean Johnston
“Mountains have a way of dealing with overconfidence.” – Hermann Buhl
“I chose the road less traveled and now I don’t know where I am.”
“I might look like I am listening to you, but in my mind, I am hiking.”
“Sleeping bags are the most soft tacos of the bear’s world.”
"Going on a hike is like having your car break down but on purpose."
- John Lyon
“Where are we? About halfway…to somewhere.”
“There. Right there is where you lost your darn mind!”
"Camping is a humanitarian effort to help feed hungry mosquitoes."
- Melanie White
“When asked about my hiking plan I answered “Let’s summit up”.”
“I don’t get it. The trail looked so flat on the map.”
“Bring a compass. It’s awkward when you have to eat your friends.”
“At some point in life, the world’s beauty becomes enough.”
“If there’s one thing I’ve learned from hiking, it’s that the early bird gets the face full of spider webs.”
“You are as helpful as a blister on a hike.”
“Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time.” - Steven Wright
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“Hiking—much like drinking—is something that sounds more fun to the uninitiated than it actually is.” – Mindy McGinnis
“Camping is not a date; its an endurance test. If you can survive camping with someone, you should marry them on the way home.”