“Mondays are mundane, like Tuesdays minus 24 hours.”
— Jarod Kintz
“This is the mondayest Monday that ever mondayed.”
“I don’t like Sunday nights because you have to wake up to a Monday morning.”
“Monday is great if I can spend it in bed. I’m a man of simple pleasures, really.”
– Arthur Darvill
“It’s just another manic Monday. I wish it was Sunday. ‘Cause, that’s my fun day. My, I don’t have to run day.”
— Prince Rogers Nelson
“Hello, Monday! May I ask you a question? Why are you always back so quickly? Don’t you have a hobby?”
“Due to lack of interest. Monday has been canceled.”
“At the end of a rainbow, there’s a pot of gold. But when the weekend comes to an end, there’s only a Monday.”
“Monday is almost Tuesday, which is not so far from Wednesday which is neighboring Thursday, and Friday. Enjoy your day!”
“If Monday was a gift, I would happily return it to the person who gave it to me.”
“Roses are red, Mondays are hard. I’m not good at poetry. COFFEE.”
“Unfortunately, I did not become a millionaire over the weekend, so I have to return to work on Monday.”
“What is your favorite day of the week, and why it is your favorite day of the week? Mine is Tuesday because that means Monday is gone.”
“I don’t like when I'm all stress-free and peacefully relaxing on the couch and then, out of nowhere, Monday comes along and punches you right off the couch!”
“Monday should be optional.”
“This has been such a Monday! I wish I stayed in bed, and I wish that yesterday had never happened.”
– Lisa Mantchev
“Someone should enact a holiday that honors all people who turn up for work on Mondays.”
“You are in control. Never allow your Monday to be manic.”
— Andrea L’Artiste
“Dear Monday, my mama doesn’t like you and she likes everyone.”
“Candy is nature’s way of making up for Mondays.”
— Rebecca Gober
“Maybe Monday doesn’t like you either.”
“Set your clocks at the start of the weekend so that you know just how much fun time you get to have. Then smash your clocks so you won't know when Monday starts.”
“Dear Mondays, I really think that you should take a holiday. Believe me, no one will even miss you.”
“The only certainty in this life is that Monday comes for everyone. A little humor to face at the beginning of the week always goes well. How about starting Monday smiling?”
“Keep calm and pretend it’s not Monday.”
“So. Monday. We meet again. We will never be friends—but maybe we can move past our mutual enmity toward a more-positive partnership.”
— Julio Alexi Genao
“May your coffee be extra strong, and your Monday be extra short.”
“Why is Monday so far from Friday? And why is Friday so close to Monday?”
“So. Monday. We meet again. We will never be friends — but maybe we can move past our mutual enmity toward a more positive partnership.”
“Hello and welcome to Monday. Do you take sugar, cream, or Valium in your morning coffee?”
“Monday: One of those days when even when your coffee needs a coffee.”
“May your coffee be strong and your Monday productive.”
“My Week is like: Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Blink, Monday.”
“Is it Monday already? I’m almost positive I did not get my entire portion of the weekend.”
“SMONDAY: The moment when Sunday stops feeling like a Sunday and the anxiety of Monday kicks in.”
“Sunday morning my head is bad. But it's worth all the time I had. But I've got to go and get some rest. For Monday is a mess!”
– Dave Bartholomew, Blue Monday
“Monday is like a math problem. Add the irritation, subtract the sleep, multiply the problems, divide the happiness.”
“Monday, you're so jealous of my relationship with Sunday because I am so happy to see you leave!”
“Never make your favorite song the alarm for Monday morning; you’ll hate it for years.”
“When life gives you Monday, dip it in glitter and sparkle all day.”
“Mondays are a lot like getting fat. They make you feel sad, sometimes angry and there is not much scope for liking either fat or Mondays for any reason.”
– Garry Moll
“We interrupt your happiness to bring you Mondays. Don’t worry, you’re regularly scheduled happiness will resume again on Friday.”
“The worst moment today has happened. That was when the alarm went off and I realized it was Monday.”
“I’ve drank multiple cups of coffee, and Monday isn’t looking any better. Hey – give me a beer. Let’s see if that helps.”
“Dear Monday, I want to break up. I’m seeing Tuesday and dreaming about Friday. Sincerely, it’s not me, it’s you.”
“Monday I shall slay thee with my mighty cup of coffee.”
“If each day is a “gift,” I’d like to know where I can return the Monday.”
“What is your favorite day of the week, and why it is your favorite day of the week? Mine is Tuesday because that means Monday is gone.”
“I'm always in a bad mood on Monday morning. It makes me hate everything for no reason whatsoever.”
“Monday is a sloppy umbrella day, which makes everybody a little blue.”
– George Leedy