“Sunday morning my head is bad. But it's worth all the time I had. But I've got to go and get some rest. For Monday is a mess!”
– Dave Bartholomew, Blue Monday
“Hello and welcome to Monday. Do you take sugar, cream, or Valium in your morning coffee?”
“Set your clocks at the start of the weekend so that you know just how much fun time you get to have. Then smash your clocks so you won't know when Monday starts.”
“If each day is a “gift,” I’d like to know where I can return the Monday.”
“Enjoy every second of Sunday, for when you least expect Monday comes to haunt you.”
“Unfortunately, I did not become a millionaire over the weekend, so I have to return to work on Monday.”
“When life gives you Monday, dip it in glitter and sparkle all day.”
“The only certainty in this life is that Monday comes for everyone. A little humor to face at the beginning of the week always goes well. How about starting Monday smiling?”
“I have decided to cast my vote for any political candidate whose platform adds Monday to the weekend.”
“May your coffee be strong and your Monday productive.”
“Monday: One of those days when even when your coffee needs a coffee.”
“I’ve drank multiple cups of coffee, and Monday isn’t looking any better. Hey – give me a beer. Let’s see if that helps.”
“I really don’t play well with others on a Monday. Can I skip today and just start again with Tuesday?”
“Monday is like a math problem. Add the irritation, subtract the sleep, multiply the problems, divide the happiness.”
“I hate mornings and Mondays. And working. But other than that I am entirely happy.”
“Monday: nothing a bit of shopping can’t fix.”
“Mondays are a lot like getting fat. They make you feel sad, sometimes angry and there is not much scope for liking either fat or Mondays for any reason.”
– Garry Moll
“This has been such a Monday! I wish I stayed in bed, and I wish that yesterday had never happened.”
– Lisa Mantchev
“Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life!”
“Monday should be optional.”
“Why is Monday so far from Friday? And why is Friday so close to Monday?”
“Good morning. Keep calm and pretend it’s not Monday.”
“Keep calm and pretend it’s not Monday.”
“I don’t like Sunday nights because you have to wake up to a Monday morning.”
“Monday is a sloppy umbrella day, which makes everybody a little blue.”
– George Leedy
“The worst moment today has happened. That was when the alarm went off and I realized it was Monday.”
“You are in control. Never allow your Monday to be manic.”
— Andrea L’Artiste
“Is it Monday already? I’m almost positive I did not get my entire portion of the weekend.”
“May your coffee be extra strong, and your Monday be extra short.”
“So. Monday. We meet again. We will never be friends — but maybe we can move past our mutual enmity toward a more positive partnership.”
“Someone should enact a holiday that honors all people who turn up for work on Mondays.”
“Never make your favorite song the alarm for Monday morning; you’ll hate it for years.”
“Hello, Monday! May I ask you a question? Why are you always back so quickly? Don’t you have a hobby?”
“Monday, you're so jealous of my relationship with Sunday because I am so happy to see you leave!”
“Monday is great if I can spend it in bed. I’m a man of simple pleasures, really.”
– Arthur Darvill
“Monday is almost Tuesday, which is not so far from Wednesday which is neighboring Thursday, and Friday. Enjoy your day!”
“If Monday was a gift, I would happily return it to the person who gave it to me.”
“SMONDAY: The moment when Sunday stops feeling like a Sunday and the anxiety of Monday kicks in.”
“This is the mondayest Monday that ever mondayed.”
“Maybe Monday doesn’t like you either.”
“It’s just another manic Monday. I wish it was Sunday. ‘Cause, that’s my fun day. My, I don’t have to run day.”
— Prince Rogers Nelson
“Monday again? Is it every week now?”
“Roses are red, Mondays are hard. I’m not good at poetry. COFFEE.”
“We interrupt your happiness to bring you Mondays. Don’t worry, you’re regularly scheduled happiness will resume again on Friday.”
“Due to lack of interest. Monday has been canceled.”
“Monday I shall slay thee with my mighty cup of coffee.”
“Take a deep breath and try to relax. I promise – Monday will be over soon.”
“What is your favorite day of the week, and why it is your favorite day of the week? Mine is Tuesday because that means Monday is gone.”
“I really need a day in-between Sunday and Monday.”
“Dear Monday, I want to break up. I’m seeing Tuesday and dreaming about Friday. Sincerely, it’s not me, it’s you.”