“I really need a day in-between Sunday and Monday.”
“Monday: One of those days when even when your coffee needs a coffee.”
“So. Monday. We meet again. We will never be friends—but maybe we can move past our mutual enmity toward a more-positive partnership.”
— Julio Alexi Genao
“Mondays are a lot like getting fat. They make you feel sad, sometimes angry and there is not much scope for liking either fat or Mondays for any reason.”
– Garry Moll
“I hate mornings and Mondays. And working. But other than that I am entirely happy.”
“Good morning. Keep calm and pretend it’s not Monday.”
“Dear Mondays, I really think that you should take a holiday. Believe me, no one will even miss you.”
“You are in control. Never allow your Monday to be manic.”
— Andrea L’Artiste
“Monday should be optional.”
“Dear Monday, my mama doesn’t like you and she likes everyone.”
“May your coffee be strong and your Monday productive.”
“Enjoy every second of Sunday, for when you least expect Monday comes to haunt you.”
“Monday, you're so jealous of my relationship with Sunday because I am so happy to see you leave!”
“Maybe Monday doesn’t like you either.”
“We interrupt your happiness to bring you Mondays. Don’t worry, you’re regularly scheduled happiness will resume again on Friday.”
“The worst moment today has happened. That was when the alarm went off and I realized it was Monday.”
“Monday is like a math problem. Add the irritation, subtract the sleep, multiply the problems, divide the happiness.”
“Unfortunately, I did not become a millionaire over the weekend, so I have to return to work on Monday.”
“I don’t like Sunday nights because you have to wake up to a Monday morning.”
“This has been such a Monday! I wish I stayed in bed, and I wish that yesterday had never happened.”
– Lisa Mantchev
“My Week is like: Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Blink, Monday.”
“I'm always in a bad mood on Monday morning. It makes me hate everything for no reason whatsoever.”
“Mondays are mundane, like Tuesdays minus 24 hours.”
— Jarod Kintz
“If I was elected president, the first thing I would do would be to eliminate all Mondays and lengthen the weekend one more day.”
“Is it Monday already? I’m almost positive I did not get my entire portion of the weekend.”
“If Monday was a gift, I would happily return it to the person who gave it to me.”
“Keep calm and pretend it’s not Monday.”
“Monday again? Is it every week now?”
“Set your clocks at the start of the weekend so that you know just how much fun time you get to have. Then smash your clocks so you won't know when Monday starts.”
“SMONDAY: The moment when Sunday stops feeling like a Sunday and the anxiety of Monday kicks in.”
“Monday I shall slay thee with my mighty cup of coffee.”
“Monday: nothing a bit of shopping can’t fix.”
“If each day is a “gift,” I’d like to know where I can return the Monday.”
“Hello, Monday! May I ask you a question? Why are you always back so quickly? Don’t you have a hobby?”
“Someone should enact a holiday that honors all people who turn up for work on Mondays.”
“What is your favorite day of the week, and why it is your favorite day of the week? Mine is Tuesday because that means Monday is gone.”
“I really don’t play well with others on a Monday. Can I skip today and just start again with Tuesday?”
“Monday is great if I can spend it in bed. I’m a man of simple pleasures, really.”
– Arthur Darvill
“If Monday were a person, it would be a boring friend who always forces us to do what we don’t want.”
“The only certainty in this life is that Monday comes for everyone. A little humor to face at the beginning of the week always goes well. How about starting Monday smiling?”
“Dear Monday, I want to break up. I’m seeing Tuesday and dreaming about Friday. Sincerely, it’s not me, it’s you.”
“Hello and welcome to Monday. Do you take sugar, cream, or Valium in your morning coffee?”
“Monday is almost Tuesday, which is not so far from Wednesday which is neighboring Thursday, and Friday. Enjoy your day!”
“Sunday morning my head is bad. But it's worth all the time I had. But I've got to go and get some rest. For Monday is a mess!”
– Dave Bartholomew, Blue Monday
“I’ve drank multiple cups of coffee, and Monday isn’t looking any better. Hey – give me a beer. Let’s see if that helps.”
“Candy is nature’s way of making up for Mondays.”
— Rebecca Gober
“What is your favorite day of the week, and why it is your favorite day of the week? Mine is Tuesday because that means Monday is gone.”
“At the end of a rainbow, there’s a pot of gold. But when the weekend comes to an end, there’s only a Monday.”
“May your coffee be extra strong, and your Monday be extra short.”
“Monday is a sloppy umbrella day, which makes everybody a little blue.”
– George Leedy