“I’ve drank multiple cups of coffee, and Monday isn’t looking any better. Hey – give me a beer. Let’s see if that helps.”
“We interrupt your happiness to bring you Mondays. Don’t worry, you’re regularly scheduled happiness will resume again on Friday.”
“Is it Monday already? I’m almost positive I did not get my entire portion of the weekend.”
“May your coffee be strong and your Monday productive.”
“Candy is nature’s way of making up for Mondays.”
— Rebecca Gober
“Someone should enact a holiday that honors all people who turn up for work on Mondays.”
“Set your clocks at the start of the weekend so that you know just how much fun time you get to have. Then smash your clocks so you won't know when Monday starts.”
“Mondays are a lot like getting fat. They make you feel sad, sometimes angry and there is not much scope for liking either fat or Mondays for any reason.”
– Garry Moll
“Good morning. Keep calm and pretend it’s not Monday.”
“Hello and welcome to Monday. Do you take sugar, cream, or Valium in your morning coffee?”
“May your coffee be extra strong, and your Monday be extra short.”
“Monday: One of those days when even when your coffee needs a coffee.”
“Maybe Monday doesn’t like you either.”
“Roses are red, Mondays are hard. I’m not good at poetry. COFFEE.”
“Unfortunately, I did not become a millionaire over the weekend, so I have to return to work on Monday.”
“This has been such a Monday! I wish I stayed in bed, and I wish that yesterday had never happened.”
– Lisa Mantchev
“So. Monday. We meet again. We will never be friends—but maybe we can move past our mutual enmity toward a more-positive partnership.”
— Julio Alexi Genao
“Monday is great if I can spend it in bed. I’m a man of simple pleasures, really.”
– Arthur Darvill
“So. Monday. We meet again. We will never be friends — but maybe we can move past our mutual enmity toward a more positive partnership.”
“The only certainty in this life is that Monday comes for everyone. A little humor to face at the beginning of the week always goes well. How about starting Monday smiling?”
“Monday is almost Tuesday, which is not so far from Wednesday which is neighboring Thursday, and Friday. Enjoy your day!”
“Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life!”
“Hello, Monday! May I ask you a question? Why are you always back so quickly? Don’t you have a hobby?”
“Monday I shall slay thee with my mighty cup of coffee.”
“Due to lack of interest. Monday has been canceled.”
“Monday: nothing a bit of shopping can’t fix.”
“Never make your favorite song the alarm for Monday morning; you’ll hate it for years.”
“I don’t like Sunday nights because you have to wake up to a Monday morning.”
“This is the mondayest Monday that ever mondayed.”
“Mondays are mundane, like Tuesdays minus 24 hours.”
— Jarod Kintz
“If each day is a “gift,” I’d like to know where I can return the Monday.”
“I don’t like when I'm all stress-free and peacefully relaxing on the couch and then, out of nowhere, Monday comes along and punches you right off the couch!”
“I really don’t play well with others on a Monday. Can I skip today and just start again with Tuesday?”
“What is your favorite day of the week, and why it is your favorite day of the week? Mine is Tuesday because that means Monday is gone.”
“Sunday morning my head is bad. But it's worth all the time I had. But I've got to go and get some rest. For Monday is a mess!”
– Dave Bartholomew, Blue Monday
“Dear Mondays, I really think that you should take a holiday. Believe me, no one will even miss you.”
“Keep calm and pretend it’s not Monday.”
“Why is Monday so far from Friday? And why is Friday so close to Monday?”
“The worst moment today has happened. That was when the alarm went off and I realized it was Monday.”
“Monday should be optional.”
“Dear Monday, my mama doesn’t like you and she likes everyone.”
“Enjoy every second of Sunday, for when you least expect Monday comes to haunt you.”
“Dear Monday, I want to break up. I’m seeing Tuesday and dreaming about Friday. Sincerely, it’s not me, it’s you.”
“Monday is a sloppy umbrella day, which makes everybody a little blue.”
– George Leedy
“Monday, you're so jealous of my relationship with Sunday because I am so happy to see you leave!”
“My Week is like: Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Blink, Monday.”
“I really need a day in-between Sunday and Monday.”
“It’s just another manic Monday. I wish it was Sunday. ‘Cause, that’s my fun day. My, I don’t have to run day.”
— Prince Rogers Nelson
“If I was elected president, the first thing I would do would be to eliminate all Mondays and lengthen the weekend one more day.”
“What is your favorite day of the week, and why it is your favorite day of the week? Mine is Tuesday because that means Monday is gone.”