“I really don’t play well with others on a Monday. Can I skip today and just start again with Tuesday?”
“Monday, you're so jealous of my relationship with Sunday because I am so happy to see you leave!”
“Monday again? Is it every week now?”
“Monday: One of those days when even when your coffee needs a coffee.”
“Dear Monday, my mama doesn’t like you and she likes everyone.”
“May your coffee be extra strong, and your Monday be extra short.”
“Monday is great if I can spend it in bed. I’m a man of simple pleasures, really.”
– Arthur Darvill
“Dear Monday, I want to break up. I’m seeing Tuesday and dreaming about Friday. Sincerely, it’s not me, it’s you.”
“I don’t like Sunday nights because you have to wake up to a Monday morning.”
“What is your favorite day of the week, and why it is your favorite day of the week? Mine is Tuesday because that means Monday is gone.”
“I don’t like when I'm all stress-free and peacefully relaxing on the couch and then, out of nowhere, Monday comes along and punches you right off the couch!”
“Maybe Monday doesn’t like you either.”
“If I was elected president, the first thing I would do would be to eliminate all Mondays and lengthen the weekend one more day.”
“Monday should be optional.”
“I'm always in a bad mood on Monday morning. It makes me hate everything for no reason whatsoever.”
“You are in control. Never allow your Monday to be manic.”
— Andrea L’Artiste
“Hello and welcome to Monday. Do you take sugar, cream, or Valium in your morning coffee?”
“I have decided to cast my vote for any political candidate whose platform adds Monday to the weekend.”
“This has been such a Monday! I wish I stayed in bed, and I wish that yesterday had never happened.”
– Lisa Mantchev
“Monday I shall slay thee with my mighty cup of coffee.”
“Mondays are mundane, like Tuesdays minus 24 hours.”
— Jarod Kintz
“Sunday morning my head is bad. But it's worth all the time I had. But I've got to go and get some rest. For Monday is a mess!”
– Dave Bartholomew, Blue Monday
“Dear Mondays, I really think that you should take a holiday. Believe me, no one will even miss you.”
“This is the mondayest Monday that ever mondayed.”
“Due to lack of interest. Monday has been canceled.”
“If each day is a “gift,” I’d like to know where I can return the Monday.”
“So. Monday. We meet again. We will never be friends — but maybe we can move past our mutual enmity toward a more positive partnership.”
“Keep calm and pretend it’s not Monday.”
“SMONDAY: The moment when Sunday stops feeling like a Sunday and the anxiety of Monday kicks in.”
“The only certainty in this life is that Monday comes for everyone. A little humor to face at the beginning of the week always goes well. How about starting Monday smiling?”
“Unfortunately, I did not become a millionaire over the weekend, so I have to return to work on Monday.”
“What is your favorite day of the week, and why it is your favorite day of the week? Mine is Tuesday because that means Monday is gone.”