“I’ve drank multiple cups of coffee, and Monday isn’t looking any better. Hey – give me a beer. Let’s see if that helps.”
“If Monday was a gift, I would happily return it to the person who gave it to me.”
“Roses are red, Mondays are hard. I’m not good at poetry. COFFEE.”
“Is it Monday already? I’m almost positive I did not get my entire portion of the weekend.”
“Unfortunately, I did not become a millionaire over the weekend, so I have to return to work on Monday.”
“Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life!”
“I really need a day in-between Sunday and Monday.”
“If Monday were a person, it would be a boring friend who always forces us to do what we don’t want.”
“I don’t like Sunday nights because you have to wake up to a Monday morning.”
“Monday should be optional.”
“Maybe Monday doesn’t like you either.”
“This has been such a Monday! I wish I stayed in bed, and I wish that yesterday had never happened.”
– Lisa Mantchev
“Monday, you're so jealous of my relationship with Sunday because I am so happy to see you leave!”
“Due to lack of interest. Monday has been canceled.”
“Candy is nature’s way of making up for Mondays.”
— Rebecca Gober
“I have decided to cast my vote for any political candidate whose platform adds Monday to the weekend.”
“Set your clocks at the start of the weekend so that you know just how much fun time you get to have. Then smash your clocks so you won't know when Monday starts.”
“I hate mornings and Mondays. And working. But other than that I am entirely happy.”
“Mondays are a lot like getting fat. They make you feel sad, sometimes angry and there is not much scope for liking either fat or Mondays for any reason.”
– Garry Moll
“I don’t like when I'm all stress-free and peacefully relaxing on the couch and then, out of nowhere, Monday comes along and punches you right off the couch!”
“Dear Mondays, I really think that you should take a holiday. Believe me, no one will even miss you.”
“Dear Monday, I want to break up. I’m seeing Tuesday and dreaming about Friday. Sincerely, it’s not me, it’s you.”
“What is your favorite day of the week, and why it is your favorite day of the week? Mine is Tuesday because that means Monday is gone.”
“Enjoy every second of Sunday, for when you least expect Monday comes to haunt you.”
“Monday: One of those days when even when your coffee needs a coffee.”
“Why is Monday so far from Friday? And why is Friday so close to Monday?”
“It’s just another manic Monday. I wish it was Sunday. ‘Cause, that’s my fun day. My, I don’t have to run day.”
— Prince Rogers Nelson
“If each day is a “gift,” I’d like to know where I can return the Monday.”
“Keep calm and pretend it’s not Monday.”
“Hello and welcome to Monday. Do you take sugar, cream, or Valium in your morning coffee?”
“Dear Monday, my mama doesn’t like you and she likes everyone.”
“May your coffee be extra strong, and your Monday be extra short.”