“I don’t like Sunday nights because you have to wake up to a Monday morning.”
“Hello and welcome to Monday. Do you take sugar, cream, or Valium in your morning coffee?”
“Sunday morning my head is bad. But it's worth all the time I had. But I've got to go and get some rest. For Monday is a mess!”
– Dave Bartholomew, Blue Monday
“If Monday were a person, it would be a boring friend who always forces us to do what we don’t want.”
“It’s just another manic Monday. I wish it was Sunday. ‘Cause, that’s my fun day. My, I don’t have to run day.”
— Prince Rogers Nelson
“The worst moment today has happened. That was when the alarm went off and I realized it was Monday.”
“Take a deep breath and try to relax. I promise – Monday will be over soon.”
“Monday: One of those days when even when your coffee needs a coffee.”
“Mondays are a lot like getting fat. They make you feel sad, sometimes angry and there is not much scope for liking either fat or Mondays for any reason.”
– Garry Moll
“Unfortunately, I did not become a millionaire over the weekend, so I have to return to work on Monday.”
“Monday again? Is it every week now?”
“What is your favorite day of the week, and why it is your favorite day of the week? Mine is Tuesday because that means Monday is gone.”
“Is it Monday already? I’m almost positive I did not get my entire portion of the weekend.”
“You are in control. Never allow your Monday to be manic.”
— Andrea L’Artiste
“If each day is a “gift,” I’d like to know where I can return the Monday.”
“Keep calm and pretend it’s not Monday.”
“I really need a day in-between Sunday and Monday.”
“Dear Mondays, I really think that you should take a holiday. Believe me, no one will even miss you.”
“If Monday was a gift, I would happily return it to the person who gave it to me.”
“Enjoy every second of Sunday, for when you least expect Monday comes to haunt you.”
“At the end of a rainbow, there’s a pot of gold. But when the weekend comes to an end, there’s only a Monday.”
“Monday, you're so jealous of my relationship with Sunday because I am so happy to see you leave!”
“Set your clocks at the start of the weekend so that you know just how much fun time you get to have. Then smash your clocks so you won't know when Monday starts.”
“Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life!”
“Roses are red, Mondays are hard. I’m not good at poetry. COFFEE.”
“I hate mornings and Mondays. And working. But other than that I am entirely happy.”
“May your coffee be extra strong, and your Monday be extra short.”
“We interrupt your happiness to bring you Mondays. Don’t worry, you’re regularly scheduled happiness will resume again on Friday.”
“Monday is almost Tuesday, which is not so far from Wednesday which is neighboring Thursday, and Friday. Enjoy your day!”
“I'm always in a bad mood on Monday morning. It makes me hate everything for no reason whatsoever.”
“So. Monday. We meet again. We will never be friends — but maybe we can move past our mutual enmity toward a more positive partnership.”
“Mondays are mundane, like Tuesdays minus 24 hours.”
— Jarod Kintz
“I have decided to cast my vote for any political candidate whose platform adds Monday to the weekend.”
“This is the mondayest Monday that ever mondayed.”
“When life gives you Monday, dip it in glitter and sparkle all day.”
“Hello, Monday! May I ask you a question? Why are you always back so quickly? Don’t you have a hobby?”
“Due to lack of interest. Monday has been canceled.”
“Maybe Monday doesn’t like you either.”
“The only certainty in this life is that Monday comes for everyone. A little humor to face at the beginning of the week always goes well. How about starting Monday smiling?”
“Monday is like a math problem. Add the irritation, subtract the sleep, multiply the problems, divide the happiness.”
“Monday: nothing a bit of shopping can’t fix.”
“Monday is a sloppy umbrella day, which makes everybody a little blue.”
– George Leedy
“If I was elected president, the first thing I would do would be to eliminate all Mondays and lengthen the weekend one more day.”
“Never make your favorite song the alarm for Monday morning; you’ll hate it for years.”
“Monday is great if I can spend it in bed. I’m a man of simple pleasures, really.”
– Arthur Darvill
“May your coffee be strong and your Monday productive.”
“I really don’t play well with others on a Monday. Can I skip today and just start again with Tuesday?”
“Dear Monday, my mama doesn’t like you and she likes everyone.”
“Monday I shall slay thee with my mighty cup of coffee.”
“So. Monday. We meet again. We will never be friends—but maybe we can move past our mutual enmity toward a more-positive partnership.”
— Julio Alexi Genao