“Dear Mondays, I really think that you should take a holiday. Believe me, no one will even miss you.”
“Enjoy every second of Sunday, for when you least expect Monday comes to haunt you.”
“Keep calm and pretend it’s not Monday.”
“Good morning. Keep calm and pretend it’s not Monday.”
“Take a deep breath and try to relax. I promise – Monday will be over soon.”
“Someone should enact a holiday that honors all people who turn up for work on Mondays.”
“I really don’t play well with others on a Monday. Can I skip today and just start again with Tuesday?”
“Dear Monday, my mama doesn’t like you and she likes everyone.”
“Mondays are a lot like getting fat. They make you feel sad, sometimes angry and there is not much scope for liking either fat or Mondays for any reason.”
– Garry Moll
“Sunday morning my head is bad. But it's worth all the time I had. But I've got to go and get some rest. For Monday is a mess!”
– Dave Bartholomew, Blue Monday
“Due to lack of interest. Monday has been canceled.”
“Monday should be optional.”
“Monday is like a math problem. Add the irritation, subtract the sleep, multiply the problems, divide the happiness.”
“Monday is great if I can spend it in bed. I’m a man of simple pleasures, really.”
– Arthur Darvill
“Monday is a sloppy umbrella day, which makes everybody a little blue.”
– George Leedy
“If Monday were a person, it would be a boring friend who always forces us to do what we don’t want.”
“My Week is like: Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Blink, Monday.”
“Monday I shall slay thee with my mighty cup of coffee.”
“Mondays are mundane, like Tuesdays minus 24 hours.”
— Jarod Kintz
“I'm always in a bad mood on Monday morning. It makes me hate everything for no reason whatsoever.”
“I don’t like Sunday nights because you have to wake up to a Monday morning.”
“This has been such a Monday! I wish I stayed in bed, and I wish that yesterday had never happened.”
– Lisa Mantchev
“Is it Monday already? I’m almost positive I did not get my entire portion of the weekend.”
“This is the mondayest Monday that ever mondayed.”
“Dear Monday, I want to break up. I’m seeing Tuesday and dreaming about Friday. Sincerely, it’s not me, it’s you.”
“Hello, Monday! May I ask you a question? Why are you always back so quickly? Don’t you have a hobby?”
“Set your clocks at the start of the weekend so that you know just how much fun time you get to have. Then smash your clocks so you won't know when Monday starts.”
“I don’t like when I'm all stress-free and peacefully relaxing on the couch and then, out of nowhere, Monday comes along and punches you right off the couch!”
“Roses are red, Mondays are hard. I’m not good at poetry. COFFEE.”
“Monday, you're so jealous of my relationship with Sunday because I am so happy to see you leave!”
“Candy is nature’s way of making up for Mondays.”
— Rebecca Gober
“So. Monday. We meet again. We will never be friends — but maybe we can move past our mutual enmity toward a more positive partnership.”
“What is your favorite day of the week, and why it is your favorite day of the week? Mine is Tuesday because that means Monday is gone.”
“I hate mornings and Mondays. And working. But other than that I am entirely happy.”
“So. Monday. We meet again. We will never be friends—but maybe we can move past our mutual enmity toward a more-positive partnership.”
— Julio Alexi Genao
“Maybe Monday doesn’t like you either.”
“If each day is a “gift,” I’d like to know where I can return the Monday.”
“Hello and welcome to Monday. Do you take sugar, cream, or Valium in your morning coffee?”
“Unfortunately, I did not become a millionaire over the weekend, so I have to return to work on Monday.”
“At the end of a rainbow, there’s a pot of gold. But when the weekend comes to an end, there’s only a Monday.”
“I’ve drank multiple cups of coffee, and Monday isn’t looking any better. Hey – give me a beer. Let’s see if that helps.”
“May your coffee be extra strong, and your Monday be extra short.”
“SMONDAY: The moment when Sunday stops feeling like a Sunday and the anxiety of Monday kicks in.”
“I have decided to cast my vote for any political candidate whose platform adds Monday to the weekend.”
“Never make your favorite song the alarm for Monday morning; you’ll hate it for years.”
“Monday: nothing a bit of shopping can’t fix.”
“Why is Monday so far from Friday? And why is Friday so close to Monday?”
“Monday again? Is it every week now?”
“We interrupt your happiness to bring you Mondays. Don’t worry, you’re regularly scheduled happiness will resume again on Friday.”
“When life gives you Monday, dip it in glitter and sparkle all day.”