“Never make your favorite song the alarm for Monday morning; you’ll hate it for years.”
“Hello, Monday! May I ask you a question? Why are you always back so quickly? Don’t you have a hobby?”
“I'm always in a bad mood on Monday morning. It makes me hate everything for no reason whatsoever.”
“SMONDAY: The moment when Sunday stops feeling like a Sunday and the anxiety of Monday kicks in.”
“I’ve drank multiple cups of coffee, and Monday isn’t looking any better. Hey – give me a beer. Let’s see if that helps.”
“If Monday were a person, it would be a boring friend who always forces us to do what we don’t want.”
“Keep calm and pretend it’s not Monday.”
“We interrupt your happiness to bring you Mondays. Don’t worry, you’re regularly scheduled happiness will resume again on Friday.”
“Enjoy every second of Sunday, for when you least expect Monday comes to haunt you.”
“Monday, you're so jealous of my relationship with Sunday because I am so happy to see you leave!”
“Due to lack of interest. Monday has been canceled.”
“This is the mondayest Monday that ever mondayed.”
“This has been such a Monday! I wish I stayed in bed, and I wish that yesterday had never happened.”
– Lisa Mantchev
“The only certainty in this life is that Monday comes for everyone. A little humor to face at the beginning of the week always goes well. How about starting Monday smiling?”
“You are in control. Never allow your Monday to be manic.”
— Andrea L’Artiste
“My Week is like: Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Blink, Monday.”
“Take a deep breath and try to relax. I promise – Monday will be over soon.”
“I really need a day in-between Sunday and Monday.”
“Monday is almost Tuesday, which is not so far from Wednesday which is neighboring Thursday, and Friday. Enjoy your day!”
“Dear Mondays, I really think that you should take a holiday. Believe me, no one will even miss you.”
“Unfortunately, I did not become a millionaire over the weekend, so I have to return to work on Monday.”
“What is your favorite day of the week, and why it is your favorite day of the week? Mine is Tuesday because that means Monday is gone.”
“I hate mornings and Mondays. And working. But other than that I am entirely happy.”
“I don’t like Sunday nights because you have to wake up to a Monday morning.”
“Monday I shall slay thee with my mighty cup of coffee.”
“Good morning. Keep calm and pretend it’s not Monday.”
“At the end of a rainbow, there’s a pot of gold. But when the weekend comes to an end, there’s only a Monday.”
“I have decided to cast my vote for any political candidate whose platform adds Monday to the weekend.”
“Monday is like a math problem. Add the irritation, subtract the sleep, multiply the problems, divide the happiness.”
“Hello and welcome to Monday. Do you take sugar, cream, or Valium in your morning coffee?”
“I really don’t play well with others on a Monday. Can I skip today and just start again with Tuesday?”
“Monday: One of those days when even when your coffee needs a coffee.”
“May your coffee be extra strong, and your Monday be extra short.”
“Dear Monday, I want to break up. I’m seeing Tuesday and dreaming about Friday. Sincerely, it’s not me, it’s you.”
“The worst moment today has happened. That was when the alarm went off and I realized it was Monday.”
“It’s just another manic Monday. I wish it was Sunday. ‘Cause, that’s my fun day. My, I don’t have to run day.”
— Prince Rogers Nelson
“Monday is a sloppy umbrella day, which makes everybody a little blue.”
– George Leedy
“Mondays are mundane, like Tuesdays minus 24 hours.”
— Jarod Kintz
“Set your clocks at the start of the weekend so that you know just how much fun time you get to have. Then smash your clocks so you won't know when Monday starts.”
“If I was elected president, the first thing I would do would be to eliminate all Mondays and lengthen the weekend one more day.”
“Dear Monday, my mama doesn’t like you and she likes everyone.”
“May your coffee be strong and your Monday productive.”
“Monday again? Is it every week now?”
“So. Monday. We meet again. We will never be friends—but maybe we can move past our mutual enmity toward a more-positive partnership.”
— Julio Alexi Genao
“What is your favorite day of the week, and why it is your favorite day of the week? Mine is Tuesday because that means Monday is gone.”
“Someone should enact a holiday that honors all people who turn up for work on Mondays.”
“When life gives you Monday, dip it in glitter and sparkle all day.”
“Monday is great if I can spend it in bed. I’m a man of simple pleasures, really.”
– Arthur Darvill
“Candy is nature’s way of making up for Mondays.”
— Rebecca Gober
“Is it Monday already? I’m almost positive I did not get my entire portion of the weekend.”