“Why is Monday so far from Friday? And why is Friday so close to Monday?”
“I'm always in a bad mood on Monday morning. It makes me hate everything for no reason whatsoever.”
“Monday again? Is it every week now?”
“If each day is a “gift,” I’d like to know where I can return the Monday.”
“Hello and welcome to Monday. Do you take sugar, cream, or Valium in your morning coffee?”
“The only certainty in this life is that Monday comes for everyone. A little humor to face at the beginning of the week always goes well. How about starting Monday smiling?”
“I’ve drank multiple cups of coffee, and Monday isn’t looking any better. Hey – give me a beer. Let’s see if that helps.”
“Monday: nothing a bit of shopping can’t fix.”
“Roses are red, Mondays are hard. I’m not good at poetry. COFFEE.”
“Good morning. Keep calm and pretend it’s not Monday.”
“Due to lack of interest. Monday has been canceled.”
“I hate mornings and Mondays. And working. But other than that I am entirely happy.”
“Unfortunately, I did not become a millionaire over the weekend, so I have to return to work on Monday.”
“What is your favorite day of the week, and why it is your favorite day of the week? Mine is Tuesday because that means Monday is gone.”
“Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life!”
“Maybe Monday doesn’t like you either.”
“I don’t like Sunday nights because you have to wake up to a Monday morning.”
“Dear Monday, I want to break up. I’m seeing Tuesday and dreaming about Friday. Sincerely, it’s not me, it’s you.”
“Candy is nature’s way of making up for Mondays.”
— Rebecca Gober
“The worst moment today has happened. That was when the alarm went off and I realized it was Monday.”
“Enjoy every second of Sunday, for when you least expect Monday comes to haunt you.”
“So. Monday. We meet again. We will never be friends—but maybe we can move past our mutual enmity toward a more-positive partnership.”
— Julio Alexi Genao
“Monday, you're so jealous of my relationship with Sunday because I am so happy to see you leave!”
“Sunday morning my head is bad. But it's worth all the time I had. But I've got to go and get some rest. For Monday is a mess!”
– Dave Bartholomew, Blue Monday
“Is it Monday already? I’m almost positive I did not get my entire portion of the weekend.”
“May your coffee be extra strong, and your Monday be extra short.”
“May your coffee be strong and your Monday productive.”
“SMONDAY: The moment when Sunday stops feeling like a Sunday and the anxiety of Monday kicks in.”
“Dear Monday, my mama doesn’t like you and she likes everyone.”
“I really don’t play well with others on a Monday. Can I skip today and just start again with Tuesday?”
“Monday: One of those days when even when your coffee needs a coffee.”
“Someone should enact a holiday that honors all people who turn up for work on Mondays.”