What happens when two coffee lovers disagree on their favorite roast? It turns into a heated debate.
What did the two coffee lovers say on their wedding day? We were meant to bean together.
What's a barista's favorite morning mantra? Rise and grind.
What did the coffees say before their night out? Let's stir up some trouble.
What do you do when your partner drinks your coffee? I don't know, but that's certainly grounds for divorce.
A man went to his psychiatrist and complained that every time he drink coffee, he would get a stabbing pain in his right eye.
The psychiatrist said, “Well, have you tried taking the spoon out?”
The pot of coffee he just made is basically break fluid.
Last night I was kidnapped by Aliens. They forced to work providing teas and coffees on their spaceship.
I told one alien that I couldn't find any milk. He said "In space, no one can. Here, use cream."
What's a coffee's favorite spell? Espresso Patronum.
How is divorce like espresso? It's bitter and expensive.
She drank so much coffee at work, she considered it part of her daily grind.
How do you make Pig Jerky?
Give them some coffee.
How did Henry VIII like his coffee? Decap.
The worst type of criminal is he who mugs other people's coffee.
What do chocolate, men, and coffee have in common?
They’re only good if they’re rich!
What do you call it when you walk into a coffee shop and feel like you've been there before? Déja-brew.
What do you call a cow who’s just given birth?
De-calf-inated!
She'll take whatever beans necessary to get her daily cup of coffee. Whatever. Beans. Necessary.
What’s fat, hairy and drinks a lot of coffee?
Java the Hut!
Avoid discussing coffee in sensitive company. It can make for a heated and strong debate.
What did the coffee addict say to his doctor?
I don’t have a problem with coffee. I have a problem without it!
The hipster burnt his tongue. He sipped his coffee before it was cool.
Why are men like coffee? The best ones are rich, hot, and can keep you up all night!
What do baristas say to their least-favorite customers? You mocha me crazy.
What did the coffee say to its date? Hey there, hot stuff.
Everyone makes fun of him for using old coffee, but he insists it has the greatest sedimental value.
What’s the difference between a Starbucks latte and a whore?
Nothing, they both suck and empty your wallet!
She was a little hesitant to try the new caramel flavor, but she decided to give it a shot, anyway.
What’s the difference between coffee and your opinion?
I asked for coffee.
I do some of my best thinking over coffee. I tend to have a latte on my mind.