What did the coffees say before their night out? Let's stir up some trouble.
What's a barista's favorite morning mantra? Rise and grind.
A man went to his psychiatrist and complained that every time he drink coffee, he would get a stabbing pain in his right eye.
The psychiatrist said, “Well, have you tried taking the spoon out?”
Avoid discussing coffee in sensitive company. It can make for a heated and strong debate.
The man next to her on the train spilled coffee all over her shirt. She responded by showing him dis-stain.
What's the best Beatles' song to play at a coffee shop? Latte Be.
She drank so much coffee at work, she considered it part of her daily grind.
She was a little hesitant to try the new caramel flavor, but she decided to give it a shot, anyway.
What's a coffee's favorite karaoke song? Hit Me With your Best Shot.
How did Henry VIII like his coffee? Decap.
Why should you avoid discussing coffee around sensitive people?
It can lead to a really heated, strong debate.
What do you call it when you walk into a coffee shop and feel like you've been there before? Déja-brew.
How are guys just like coffee?
The best ones are rich, hot, and can keep you up all night!
What do you call a cow who’s just given birth?
De-calf-inated!
What did the two coffee lovers say on their wedding day? We were meant to bean together.
What did the coffee say about its late assignment? Better latte than never.
Italians are so good at making coffee because they naturally like to espresso themselves.
The hipster burnt his tongue. He sipped his coffee before it was cool.
What did the horny woman say about her coffee?
That coffee’s not the only thing that’s hot and wet this morning.
Everyone makes fun of him for using old coffee, but he insists it has the greatest sedimental value.
Why did the coffee file a police report?
Because it was mugged.
You spilled your entire cup of coffee? What's sumatra with you?
Why was the coffee-shop worker fired? He kept showing up in a Tea-shirt.
How is divorce like espresso? It's bitter and expensive.
Did you hear about the guy who put little G.I. Joe soldiers at the bottom of his coffee cup?
He’d heard that the best part of waking up is soldiers in your cup!
What did the caffeine addict name his cats?
Cream and Sugar.
And what should every barista say to their customers? Have a brew-tiful day.
How did the coffee show its love? It said, "Words cannot espresso how much you bean to me."
Why did the coffee bean keep checking his watch? Because he was pressed for time.
What do baristas say to their least-favorite customers? You mocha me crazy.