How did the avocado feel after a day at the gym? Hard core.
What did the avocado say to the fork? “You guac my world.”
Was your guacamole salad good?
Yes, it was avocado this world.
If I buy you guacamole, will you sleep with me?
You must think I’m some kind of avocad-ho.
What do you call two male avocados who hang out and drink together?
Avocabros.
What do you call it when Satan steals your guacamole?
Playing Devil’s Avocado.
What did the Mexican heavy metal guitarist say to his bandmates?
“Rock out with your guac out.”
What did the tortilla chip say to the guacamole?
“You are all I avo wanted.”
What did the guy at the party say when he realized there was nothing left to dip his tortilla chip in?
“I’ve hit guac bottom.”
What did the waitress say to the customer who wanted free guacamole?
“You can kiss my Hass.“
How did the roommate who stole the last avocado from the fruit bowl justify her thievery?
“I know it’s wrong, but it feels so ripe!”
Can I have some of your avocado?
GUAC NO! I give zero guacs! You need to guac off!
How do you say “four avocados” in Spanish?
Um, avo-cuatro?
Are avocados good for your heart?
Yes, they make for great avo-cardio.
Can I have your last avocado?
Avocadon’t you dare.
What do you say to an avocado who’s done a good job?
“Bravocado!”
What do you call an avocado after a priest blesses it?
Holy guacamole.
Why shouln’t you rub avocado in your eyes?
You might get guacoma.
What do you get when you cross an avocado with a two way radio?
A Guackie-talkie
Can I have some of your avocado?
GUAC NO! I give zero guacs! You need to guac off!
How do you say “four avocados” in Spanish?
Um, avo-cuatro?
How did the avocado feel after a day at the gym?
Hard core.
How did that avocado baker make bread?
With avoca-dough.
What do chemists make guacamole out of?
Avogadros.
What can you make with 6.02 x 10^23 avocados?
Guaca-mole.
What do you call it when someone hits avocados repeatedly with a hammer?
Gu-whack-a-mole-e.
What do magician avocados say?
Avocadabra!
How does a robot eat it’s guacamole?
Microchips.
How do you know when guacamole has gone bad?
When it turns guaca-moldy.
What do you call people avoiding healthy fats?
Avocadonts.
What do you call young avocados?
Avokiddos.
What did man say to the guacamole?
Avocado crush on you.
How many atoms are in guacamole?
Avocados number.
What did the tortilla chip say to the avocado when the dip bowl was empty?
“We’ve hit guac bottom!”
What did the tortilla chip say to the avocado?
“Well, this is guacward.”
How do little avocados get what they want?
They spread it on thick.
What does a duck that’s made of avocado say?
Guac.
What did one avocado half say to the other?
Without you, I’m empty inside!