What usually comes at the end of Thanksgiving?
Traditionally, the letter G.
Question: Why did the cranberries turn red?
Answer: Because they saw the turkey dressing!
What do you get when you cross an octopus with a turkey?
Finally enough drumsticks for everybody at Thanksgiving. Provided you can catch the darned critter.
How did the Pilgrims die?
It was the Pil-grim Reaper.
What do you call a pilgrims vocabulary? Pilgrammar.
What does a English turkey say to another English turkey on Thanksgiving morning?
"To be roasted or not to be roasted, that is the question."
What key can’t open doors no matter how hard you try?
Turkey.
What happened the first time one of the settlers tried to write favor instead of favour?
He was attacked by a Pil-grammar nazi.
Why did the police arrest the turkey? They suspected it of fowl play.
What do jazzy people put on their potatoes at Thanksgiving?
Groovy.
What happened to the Pilgrim who was shot at by an Indian? He had an arrow escape.
If the Pilgrims were alive today, what would they be most famous for? Their AGE!
Why did the Pilgrims want to sail to America in the spring?
Because April showers bring Mayflowers!
What do you call the day in November when your son and all his cousins get rowdy? Spanksgiving.
Which cat discovered America? Christofurry Columbus.
Knock knock!
Who’s there?
Tamara.
Tamara who?
Tamara the feeding frenzy starts all over again, yay!
What happens when you’re too harsh on the cranberries and make them sad?
They turn into blueberries.
What's the best dance to do on Thanksgiving? The turkey trot.
What’s black, white and red?
A Pilgrim blushing because he’d seen the turkey dressing.
Question: What is a turkey’s favorite dessert?
Answer: Peach gobbler!
What is a good name for post-Thanksgiving constipation?
Turkey in suspense.
What happens when you seriously overstuff yourself with turkey at Thanksgiving?
You have a few slices of pumpkin pie.
What does Dracula call Thanksgiving? Fangs-giving.
When do you serve tofu turkey? Pranksgiving
What did baby corn say to mama corn?
"Where's popcorn?"
What did the turkey say before it was roasted? "Boy, I'm stuffed!"
On Thanksgiving dinner, most of us turn into hipsters.
We all go out of our way to eat the turkey before it is cool.
“The turkey is dilated to 3.5 inches, stuffing is crowning, time to eat everybody!”
That’s what happens at Thanksgiving when your mom is an obstetrician.
I had to do something about my addiction to Thanksgiving leftovers.
Cold turkey was the only way to do it.
Over the long journey and having overcome many hardships together, the Pilgrims’ bonds strengthened and they all became pretty good Palgrims.
(we'll show ourselves out)
“Thanksgiving is a magical time of year when families across the country join together to raise America’s obesity statistics.”
Stephen Colbert
What do you call an evil turkey? Poultry-Geist.
What’s the link between turkeys and teddies?
Stuffing. Lots of stuffing.
The native Indians were laughing at the Pilgrims for being so pale and never getting a proper tan.
But they did get a tan. A puritan.
What kind of tan did pilgrims get at the beach? Puritan.
Why did the turkey cross the road before Thanksgiving?
He was trying to give people the impression that he was a chicken.
Who doesn't eat on Thanksgiving? A turkey - because it is always stuffed!
Why did the policeman stop you on your way home last Thanksgiving?
Because you far exceeded your feed limit.
.
What kind of face does a pilgrim make when he's in pain? Pil-grimace.
Which side of the turkey has the most feathers? The outside.
How many chefs does it take to stuff a Thanksgiving turkey?
Only one and even then it’s a pretty tight squeeze!
“Last Thanksgiving I shot my own turkey. It was fun. That shot gun going, "Blam! Blam!"
Everybody at the supermarket just staring. Why track them when I know where they are?”
Kenny Rogerson
What do you call a turkey whizzing through the air past your head because the oven exploded?
Fast food.
What do turkeys and women have in common?
A lot of guys are only interested in their breasts.
What does a disappointed mama turkey tell her kids?
If your father were to see you now, he would be turning over in his gravy!
What did the turkeys sing on Thanksgiving Day? God save the kin.
In what country is Thanksgiving, ironically, not celebrated? Turkey.
If you call a large turkey a gobbler what do you call a small one? Goblet.
What happened when the turkey got into a fight?
He got the stuffing knocked out of him!
What would mothers most like to make on Thanksgiving dinner?
Good restaurant reservations.
Why couldn’t the Thanksgiving entertainment band perform?
Somebody had eaten the drumsticks.
Go to BabaMail
