What did baby corn say to mama corn?
"Where's popcorn?"
Why do turkeys always go, "gobble, gobble"? Because they never learned good table manners.
Why did the police arrest the turkey? They suspected it of fowl play.
What did the turkey say to the computer? "Google, google, google!"
What did the turkey say before he was roasted?
“OK, spare me no insults!"
What's the best dance to do on Thanksgiving? The turkey trot.
What happened the first time one of the settlers tried to write favor instead of favour?
He was attacked by a Pil-grammar nazi.
In what country is Thanksgiving, ironically, not celebrated? Turkey.
If you call a large turkey a gobbler what do you call a small one? Goblet.
Question: What is a turkey’s favorite dessert?
Answer: Peach gobbler!
When do you serve vegan vitarian matcha-tea-flavored turkey-shaped tofu-loaf?
At Pranksgiving.
What two animals get stuffed on Thanksgiving? Turkeys and people after Thanksgiving dinner.
What happens when you seriously overstuff yourself with turkey at Thanksgiving?
You have a few slices of pumpkin pie.
Who doesn't eat on Thanksgiving? A turkey - because it is always stuffed!
What kind of tan did pilgrims get at the beach? Puritan.
Should you have that annoying distant auntie for Thanksgiving dinner?
It’s really not worth it. Just have the turkey.
How did the Pilgrims die?
It was the Pil-grim Reaper.
Why did the policeman stop you on your way home last Thanksgiving?
Because you far exceeded your feed limit.
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What did the turkey say to the man who tried to shoot it? Liberty, Equality and Bad aim for all!
What would mothers most like to make on Thanksgiving dinner?
Good restaurant reservations.
What’s black, white and red?
A Pilgrim blushing because he’d seen the turkey dressing.
Which side of the turkey has the most feathers? The outside.
“Thanksgiving is a magical time of year when families across the country join together to raise America’s obesity statistics.”
Stephen Colbert
What is a good name for post-Thanksgiving constipation?
Turkey in suspense.
Knock knock!
Who’s there?
Tamara.
Tamara who?
Tamara the feeding frenzy starts all over again, yay!
What happened to the Pilgrim who was shot at by an Indian? He had an arrow escape.
What do you call an evil turkey? Poultry-Geist.
What did the turkeys sing on Thanksgiving Day? God save the kin.
What's the key to a great Thanksgiving dinner? The turKEY.
What happens when you’re too harsh on the cranberries and make them sad?
They turn into blueberries.
Why couldn’t the Thanksgiving entertainment band perform?
Somebody had eaten the drumsticks.
What does a disappointed mama turkey tell her kids?
If your father were to see you now, he would be turning over in his gravy!
If the pilgrims came on the Mayflower than what does the teacher come on? The scholar ships.
What does Dracula call Thanksgiving? Fangs-giving.
Why did the turkey cross the road before Thanksgiving?
He was trying to give people the impression that he was a chicken.
What do you get when you crossbreed a turkey with a harp?
A bird who can pluck itself.
“The turkey is dilated to 3.5 inches, stuffing is crowning, time to eat everybody!”
That’s what happens at Thanksgiving when your mom is an obstetrician.
Why did the Pilgrims want to sail to America in the spring?
Because April showers bring Mayflowers!
I had to do something about my addiction to Thanksgiving leftovers.
Cold turkey was the only way to do it.
Over the long journey and having overcome many hardships together, the Pilgrims’ bonds strengthened and they all became pretty good Palgrims.
(we'll show ourselves out)
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