I won an argument about weather forecasting accuracy. My fellow debater's logic was cloudy. After his defeat, he was fuming and he stormed out of the room.

That's What You Get For Speeding

A police officer in a small town stopped a motorist who was speeding down Main Street. "But officer." the man began, "I can explain". "Just be quiet," snapped the officer. "I'm going to let you cool your heels in jail until the chief gets back..." "But officer, I just wanted to say...." "And I said to keep quiet! You're going to jail!" A few hours later the officer looked in on his prisoner. The guy looked really down, so to cheer him up a bit he said, "Lucky for you that the chief is at his daughter's wedding. He'll be in a good mood when he gets back." "Don't count on it," came the gloomy answer from the cell. "I'm the groom."

daughter wedding police joke speeding chief groom jail prisoner count hour mood fellow cell

Rate: Dislike Like

Fire Puns

I need to apologize to my fellow Californians for all the recent forest fires.
Apparently I'm the only one that could've prevented them

Funny Money Quotes

“When a fellow says it ain’t the money but the principle of the thing, it’s the money.” – Artemus Ward

Food Poems

A funny young fellow named Perkins
Was terribly fond of small gherkins.
One day after tea
He ate ninety three
And pickled his internal workings.

Funny Limericks

There was a young fellow named Clyde,
who fell in an outhouse and died.
Along came his brother,
and fell in another,
and now they're interred side by side.

An ambitious young fellow named Matt,
Tried to parachute using his hat.
Folks below looked so small,
As he started to fall,
Then got bigger and bigger and SPLAT!

There was a young fellow named Hall,
who died in the spring in the fall.
'Twould have been a bad thing,
had he died in the spring,
but he didn't — he died in the fall.

Pot Puns

Did you hear about the fellow who threw away his new iron skillet?
It smelt funny...

Penguin Puns

What do Penguins sing on a birthday?
Freeze a jolly good fellow.

What do penguins sing at a birthday party?
Freeze a Jolly Good Fellow.

Dirty Limericks

An insomniac young fellow named Hatches
Took a room in a whorehouse in Natchez
He still tossed and turned
half the night, but he learned
How to manage by sleeping in snatches.

There once was a fellow McSweeny
Who spilled some gin on his weenie
Just to be couth
He added vermouth
Then slipped his girlfriend a martini.

There once was a fellow O'Doole
Who found little red spots on his tool
His Doctor a cynic
said Get out of me clinic,
And wipe off that lipstick you fool!

Grocery Store Pick Up Lines

Roses are red, bananas are yellow, wanna go out with a nice little fellow?

Want to start your day laughing? Register to our Daily Joke! Want to start your day laughing? Register to our Daily Joke!

Did you mean:

Continue With: Facebook Google

By continuing, you agree to our T&C and Privacy Policy