Happy Jokes

You mermake me happy.
Fishing you a happy day.
“You know you’re a gardener when you’re happy to devote three months of your life growing tomatoes to save $1.27.”
— Anonymous
I am happy that the arrangements for St Patrick's day are going great. The large bottles of green soda look pitcher-perfect.
"Today, you’re 50. Now we can round your age up to 100! Happy 50th birthday!" - Dave Barry"
Why was the cheese happy in the kitchen?
He thought he was grater than everyone else.
Is that a magic wand in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?
How to Give Your Heritage Respect A couple just had their first son. The husband is half Irish and half Indian, the wife is half Chinese and half Italian. That's a lot of heritage to inherit. They talk about it and they discover they both wish to have their son named after THEIR heritage. A terrible argument ensues, causing both of them a lot of anguish. After a few days, they finally came to a decision that made both of them happy. They decided on the name: Ravi O'Lee.
The Alarming Wives Two wives finally find some time to have a night out, just the two girls. After a night of happy drinking, they decide to wobble home, but on the way both have a desperate need to pee. They nip into a cemetery, do the deed and realize they have nothing to wipe themselves with. So one uses her underwear and the other grabs a wreath and uses that. Next day there husbands are talking on the phone, voicing there concerns. "I'm not happy", says one husband, "she came home with no underwear on!" "I hear you" replies second husband in a sad voice. "But if you think that's bad, my wife had a card stuck in the crack of her backside saying, "From all the guys at the fire station, we will all miss you!"
I'm a gardener and I'm OK
I sleep all night and I plant all day!
I dress in grubby clothing and hang around with slugs.
Oh I'm happy in the garden
With dirt and plants and bugs.
Is that a telescope in your pants or are you just happy to see me?
“You can’t make everyone happy. You’re not pizza.”
― Unknown
"I really don't think I need buns of steel. I'd be happy with buns of cinnamon."
— Ellen DeGeneres
Six out of seven dwarfs aren’t Happy.
What do gnomes love to sing while gardening?
Gnome Worry, Bee Happy.
Is that a magic wand in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?
Is that your drumstick, or are you just happy to see me
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