Name

To get with the times, Grammar Nazi's have changed their name.
They now prefer to go by Alt-writists.
What did the drummer name his twin daughters?
Anna one, Anna two...
During labor, the nurse came up to my wife and said, “How about epidural anesthesia?”
I said, “Thanks, but we already picked a name.”
I have a lot of cute names for my girlfriend, but ever since she’s been in a coma, I just cauliflower.
One mamma cow and four baby calves. The first baby walks up to the mom and asks, "Momma, why is my name Rose?" The mommy cow replies, "Well honey, a rose petal fell on your head when you were born." The next calf comes up and asks, "Momma, why is my name Lily?" The mother replies, "Because honey, a lily petal fell on your head when you were born." The third baby comes up and asks, "Momma, why is my name Daisy?" The momma cow again replieds" Well, when you were born a daisy petal fell on your head." The final baby walks over and says, "Duh huh guh nuh!" The momma cow says, "Shut up, Cinderblock."
Ever since my girlfriend got pregnant a lot has changed in my life.
Like my name, address and telephone number.
Oh, Donna...
Oh, Donna... A gunman held a couple at gun point. While in the process of taking their valuables, he asked them: Gunman: "What's your name?" Woman: "My name is Donna." Gunman: "You have a name like my mother. I will not kill you." He turned to the man. "And you?" Man: "My name is Don, but my friends call me Donna."
What's a man's idea of honesty in a relationship? Telling you his real name.
Why do men name their penises? Because they don't like the idea of having a stranger make 90 percent of their decisions.
What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name? You didn't hold the pillow down long enough.
What is the name of the Hollywood movie that stars an "outlaw" brain and an "outlaw" woman on a road trip?
Thalamus and Louise.
An action potential takes the train to school. What is the name of the train station where it gets off for school?
Axon terminal.
A teacher asks the class to name six mammals that you might find in Africa. One of the pupils replies, “five zebras and a lion”.
My Joker Brother
My Joker Brother A man was taking his wife, who was pregnant with twins, to the hospital when - in his excitement - his car went out of control and crashed into an oak tree. Upon regaining consciousness, he saw his brother, a relentless world-class practical joker, sitting at his bed side with the warm grin he'd know since childhood. He asked his brother how his wife was, and his brother replied: "Don't worry, everybody is fine and you have a son and a daughter. But the hospital was in a real hurry to get the birth certificates filed and since both you and your wife were unconscious, I named them for you." The husband was thinking to himself: "Oh no, what has he done now?" And he said with trepidation: "Well what did you name them?" The brother replied: "I named the little girl Denise." The husband, relieved, said: "That's a very pretty name! What did you come up with for my son?" "Denephew," the brother replied.
A Very Cheeky Question
A Very Cheeky Question Two elderly ladies had been friends for many decades. Over the years they had shared all kinds of activities and adventures. Lately, their activities had been limited to meeting a few times a week to play cards. One day they were playing cards when one looked at the other and said, “Now don’t get mad at me. I know we’ve been friends for a long time, but I just can’t think of your name. I’ve thought and thought, but I can’t remember it. Please tell me what your name is. I'm so sorry.” Her friend glared at her for at least three minutes. She just stared and glared at her. Finally, she said: “How soon do you need to know?"
“When I eventually met Mr. Right I had no idea that his first name was Always.”
Rita Rudner
“My nickname is ‘Mom’, but my full name is ‘Mom Mom Mom Mom Mom Mom’.”
Unknown
Did you know Karl Marx's sister invented the starting pistol?
Her name was Onya Marx.