Bee Jokes

What does a bee use to brush it's hair ?
A Honeycomb.
The Bee Gees were such fans of onions that they even dedicated a song to it. They named it 'Chives Talking'.
A honey bee lands on a flower but is quickly kicked off by the spider living there. Perturbed, he flies away and lands on a different flower...
It was a cross pollination.
Why did the bee get married?
She found her honey.
What do you say to a bee that bothers you?
"Buzz off!"
Why do bee keepers have beautiful eyes?
Because they hold bees. (Beauty is in the eye of the bee holder)
What's more impressive than a talking fish?
A spelling bee.
A Bee Attends a Bar Mitzvah Two bees ran into each other. The first bee asked the other how things were going. "Really bad," said the second bee. "The weather has been really wet and damp and there aren't any flowers or pollen, so I can't make any honey." "No problem," said the first bee. "Just fly down five blocks and turn left. Keep going until you see all the cars. There's a Bar Mitzvah going on and there are all kinds of fresh flowers and fruit." "Thanks for the tip," said the second bee, and he flew away. A few hours later, the two bees ran into each other again. The first bee asked, "How'd it go?" "Great!" said the second bee. "It was everything you said it would be." "Uh, what's that thing on your head?" asked the first bee. "That's my yamaka," said the second bee. "Why do you have it on, you're not Jewish." "No, but I didn't want them to think I was a wasp."
What do you say when you catch a bee? Behold!
“The happiness of the bee and the dolphin is to exist. For man, it is to know that and to wonder at it.”

- Jacques Yves Cousteau.
So what did the Mother bee say to her misbehaving bee son.
Beehive!
What do you call an undead bee?
A zom-bee.
Knock Knock!

Who is there?

A Bee?

A bee who?

A beaver is building a dam on the river.
Enlglysh is a Pane Hear eye sit inn English class; the likelihood is that eye won't pass An F on my report card wood bee worse than swallowing glass It's knot that eye haven't studied, often till late at knight Butt the rules are sew confusing, eye simply can't get them write Hour teacher says, "Heed my advice, ewe must study and sacrifice" Butt if mouses are mice and louses are lice, how come blouses aren't blice The confusion really abounds when adding esses two nouns Gooses are geese, butt mooses aren't meese; somebody scent in the clowns Two ultimatums are ultimata, and a couple of datum are data Sew wouldn't ewe expect it wood bee correct fore a bunch of plums to be plata? And if more than won octopus are octopi, and the plural of ox is oxen Shouldn't a couple of busses bee bussi and a pare of foxes bee foxen? Let's talk about spelling a wile, specifically letters witch are silent Words like "psychologist" and "wreck" shirley make awl of us violent And another example quite plane witch is really hard two explain If it's eye before e except after sea, then what about feign and reign? The final exam will determine how eye due, weather eye pass ore fail I halve prepared as much as eye can down two the last detail I'm ready two give it my vary best inn just a little wile And then isle take a relaxing wrest on a tropical aisle. (By Alan Balter)
Stinging an Idiot A man comes running to the doctor shouting and screaming in pain. "Please doctor you've got to help me. I've been stung by a bee." "Don't worry;" says the doctor, "I'll put some cream on it." "You will never find that bee. It must be miles away by now." "No, you don't understand!" answers the doctor, "I'll put some cream on the place you were stung." "Oh! It happened in the garden in back of my house." "No, no, no!" says the doctor getting frustrated, "I mean on which part of your body did that bee sting you." "On my finger!" screamed the man in pain. "The bee stung me on my finger and it really hurts." "Which one?" the doctor. "How am I supposed to know? All the bees look the same to me!"
What is the only animal smarter than a talking parrot? A spelling bee!
How can someone tell if a bee is on their phone? They'll get a buzzy signal.
What do gnomes love to sing while gardening?
Gnome Worry, Bee Happy.
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