Finger

Whats green and smells like bacon? Kermit the Frog's finger! Why do we cook bacon and bake cookies?
A Blond walks into a doctors office and says: "Doctor, what’s the problem with me? When I touch my arm, ouch! It hurts... When I touch my leg, ouch! it hurts... When I touch my head, ouch! It hurts... When I touch my chest, ouch! it really hurts!" The Doctor replies: "Your finger is broken."
A Blond walks into a doctors office and says:
"Doctor, what’s the problem with me?
When I touch my arm, ouch! It hurts...
When I touch my leg, ouch! it hurts...
When I touch my head, ouch! It hurts...
When I touch my chest, ouch! it really hurts!"
The Doctor replies: "Your finger is broken."
What's slimy cold long and smells like pork? Kermit the frogs finger!
I got fruit preserves on my finger.
Doctor said it was jammed.
I got fruit preserves on my finger.
Doctor said I was jammed.
Jill broke her finger today, but on the other hand she was completely fine
When I got home from camp today,
My parents almost died.
They asked me how I got this way,
And here's what I replied:

This little cast from heel to hip
Is nothing much at all.
Some broken shingles made me slip
From off the dining hall.

The poison ivy's not too bad.
It missed my back and chest.
Of course, I guess I oughta add
Mosquitoes got the rest.

I tried to eat some hick'ry nuts
And cracked a tooth or two.
And all these bruises, scabs, and cuts?
I haven't got a clue.

I got the lump that's on my head
From diving in the lake.
I should've watched for rocks instead
Of grabbing for the snake.

That leaves this bandage on my chin
And these three finger sprains,
Along with lots of sunburned skin
And sniffles from the rains.

I also got a muscle cramp
And very nearly drowned.
It's some terrific summer camp,
The coolest one around.

(By Richard Thomas)
I think there's something wrong with the cactus I'm growing...
But I can't put my finger on it.
What do you call an artist with a brown finger? Piccas*ole
What does marriage do? Puts a ring on a woman's finger and two under the man's eyes.
What kind of institution is Marriage?
One where a man loses his Bachelor's Degree and the woman gets her Masters.
You are why God created the middle finger.
How can you tell when a man is well hung? When you can just barely slip your finger in between his neck and the noose.