My girlfriend broke up with me because I quote too many Linkin Park songs.
But "in the end, it doesn't even matter".
Why did the chicken join the band?
Because he had the drumsticks.
Why did the music teacher go up the ladder during music class?
To reach the high notes.
Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys?
He was playing by ear.
A while ago, my friend told me not to listen to loud music.
I haven’t heard from that guy since.
Why did the grandma sit in the rocking chair with her rollerblades on?
Because she wanted to rock and roll.
Why shouldn’t you let kids watch band performances on TV?
Too much sax and violins.
Why was music coming from the printer?
The paper was jamming.
What type of music are balloons afraid of?
Pop music.
How do you make a bandstand?
Take away their chairs.
Some might say the violinists in an orchestra don’t do much.
They just fiddle around.
What rock band has four guys that don’t sing?
Mount Rushmore.
What is a cat’s favorite song?
“Three Blind Mice.”
Accordion to one study, people don’t notice when you replace any given word with the name of a musical instrument, but I don’t believe that tuba true.
What did the robbers take from the music store?
The lute.
Why couldn’t the athlete listen to her music?
She broke the record.
Me and my friends are in a band called “Duvet”. We’re a cover band.
What song do tornados like?
“The Twist.”
Why did the tortilla chip start dancing?
Because they put on the salsa.
My neighbors are listening to great music. Whether they like it or not!
What is another term for trombone?
A wind-driven, manually operated pitch approximator.
How many guitar players does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Twelve - one to do it, and eleven to stand around and say, "Phhhwt! I can do that!"
Why can’t skeletons play church music?
Because they have no organs.
How do you fix a broken brass instrument?
With a tuba glue.
What’s the slang term for a harpsichord?
A Baroque man’s piano.
How does the sun listen to music?
On its ray-dio!
My dad always told me I should sing tenor twelve miles away.
Why didn’t Handel go shopping?
Because he was Baroque.
What do you say when a kazoo player sneezes?
Kazoontite.
Why do fluorescent lights hum?
Because they forgot the words.
What do you get when you drop a piano down a mine shaft?
A flat minor.
A sign at a music shop: “Gone Chopin. Bach in a minuet.”
What do you get when you play country music backward?
You get your wife back, your dog back, and your job back.
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