How is a man like a gun?
Keep one around long enough, and you’ll definitely want to shoot him.
What kind of man can you actually change?
The ones still in diapers.
What did the elephant say to a naked man? Hey that's cute but can you breath through it?
What’s the difference between a knife and an argumentative man?
A knife has a point.
Why do so few men end up in Heaven? They never stop to ask for directions
My husband said to me, "For our anniversary I want to go somewhere I've never been before."
So I said, "Try the kitchen!"
When a man opens the car door for his wife, you can be sure of one thing, either the car is new or the wife is.
What do bulletproof vests, fire escapes, windshield wipers, and laser printers all have in common? All invented by women.
Why do some guys have Red Eyes after se*? Mace.
What is the difference between a man and a tree? One is illegal to hit with an ax.
What do you call a Guy who Masterbates more than twice a day? A Terrorwrist
“Gravity is the story of how George Clooney would rather float away into space and die than spend one more minute with a woman his own age”
What do you call a man with an opinion? Wrong.
A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word.
An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position.
As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically,
"Relatives of yours?"
"Yep," the wife replied, "in-laws."
How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb? Three. One to screw in the bulb and two to listen to him brag about the screwing part.