Why do some guys have Red Eyes after se*? Mace.
A recent study has found that women who carry a little extra weight live longer than the men who mention it.
What does a man consider a seven-course meal? A pizza and a six pack.
What's the most common sleeping position of a man? Around. What does a penis and an ego have in common? All men have one!
Husband: "Want a quickie?"
Wife: "As opposed to what?"
How is Colonel Sanders like the typical male? All he's concerned with is legs, breasts and thighs.
What did God say after creating man? I can do so much better.
Why do men get their great ideas in bed? Because their plugged into a genius!
Why did god invent men? Because vibrators can't mow the lawn
How is a man like a gun?
Keep one around long enough, and you’ll definitely want to shoot him.
Wives want to videotape the birth of their child, while husbands want to videotape the conception.
How do you scare a man? Sneak up behind him and start throwing rice! How is a man like a used car? Both are easy to get, cheap, and unreliable!
What do you call a man who expects to have se* on the second date? Patient!
Why can't men get mad cow disease? Because they are pigs.
My ex husband went to a colonoscopy the other day.
Good news: They found his head!
What kind of man can you actually change?
The ones still in diapers.
Why are Men like parking spaces? The good ones are already taken!
Why did Dorothy get lost on her way to the Emerald City? Becuase she was being led by three boys
A couple is lying in bed.
The man says, "I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world."
The woman says, "I'll miss you."
When a man opens the car door for his wife, you can be sure of one thing, either the car is new or the wife is.
What is the difference between a sofa and a man watching Monday Night Football? The sofa doesn't keep asking for beer.
What do you call a handcuffed man? Trustworthy.
What do you do with a bachelor who thinks he's God's gift to women? Exchange him.
How are splinters better than a man?
Splinters are a pain, but they go away eventually.
Husband: Who do you like better, a smart guy or a handsome guy?
Wife: Neither. I only like you.
Why does it take a million sperm to fertilize one egg?
They really are too damn proud to stop and ask for directions.
The best way to get your husband to do something is to suggest he’s too old to do it.
My boyfriend asked me if I wanted a threesome which of his friends I'd choose.
I shouldn't have named two.
What's the difference between a man and E.T.? E.T. phones home.
What do you call a man with an opinion? Wrong.
I like older men because they've gotten used to life's disappointments. Which means they're ready for me.
How does a man show he's planning for the future? He buys two cases of beer instead of one.
How does a man show he's planning for the future? He buys two cases of beer instead of one.
What do you call a Guy who Masterbates more than twice a day? A Terrorwrist
What’s the difference between a clitoris and a golf ball?
A man will actually look for a golf ball.
What do you call a man who never farts in public? A private tutor.
How do you get a man to stop biting his nails? Make him wear shoes.
What is the main difference between men and boys? Men's toys cost more.
What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name? You didn't hold the pillow down long enough.
A groom waits at the altar with a huge smile on his face.
His best man asks, "Why do you look so excited?"
The groom replies, "I just had the best blow job I have ever had in my entire life, and I am marrying the wonderful woman who gave it to me."
The bride waits at the other end of the aisle with a huge smile on her face. Her maid of honor asks, "Why do you look so excited?"
The bride replies, "I just gave the last blow job of my entire life."
After a quarrel, a husband said to his wife, "You know, I was a fool when I married you." She replied, "Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn't notice."
Where does a mansplainer get his water?
From a well, actually.
My husband asked why I never blink during se*.
I told him I didn’t have time to.
Why don't some men have a mid-life crisis? They're stuck in adolescence.
Why does it take 100 million sperm to fertilize an egg? Because not one will stop and ask for directions.
How do you get a man to have the best orgasm possible?
Who cares?
Go to BabaMail
