Three words to ruin a man's ego... "Is it in?"
What's the smartest thing a man can say? "My wife says..."
What should you give a man who has everything? A woman to show him how to work it.
Why do so few men end up in Heaven? They never stop to ask for directions
A third-grade teacher is getting to know her pupils on the first day of school.
She turns to one little girl and says, ‘And what does your daddy do?’
The girl replies, ‘Whatever Mummy tells him to.’
How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?
I don't know, it's never happened.
How many knees do men really have? 3 - right knee, left knee and their wee-knee.
How many men does it take to open a beer? none. the lady should already have it open on the table!
What do men and mascara have in common? They both run at the first sign of emotion.
“Gravity is the story of how George Clooney would rather float away into space and die than spend one more minute with a woman his own age”
What do men and pantyhose have in common? They either cling, run, or don't fit right in the crotch!
What's the difference between a knife and an argument with a man?
The knife has a point.
Me: Would you like to be the sun in my life?
Him: Awww, of course!
Me: Good then stay 92.96 million miles away from me.
What did God say after creating man? I must be able to do better than that.
Why did the man keep going in circles? He didn't get the point.
What is the difference between a man and a tree? One is illegal to hit with an ax.
What do a balloon and a man have in common?
One prick pretty much ruins them.
What makes a man think about a dinner by candlelight? A power failure.
Why do men prefer blondes? Because they like intellectual companionship.
If a woman sleeps with 10 men she's a slut, but if a man does it… He's gay, definitely gay.
How do you drive a man crazy? A. Put a naked woman and a six-pack in front of him. Then tell him to pick only one.
Why are Men like parking spaces? The good ones are already taken!
What do you call a man who never farts in public? A private tutor.
When will a guy ignore even the hottest girl? Right after he "comes" inside. Why do little boys whine? Because they're practicing to be men.
Women spend more time wondering what men are thinking than men spend thinking.
What is the difference between a glass of wine and a man? A glass of wine hits the spot everytime.
How do you scare a man? Sneak up behind him and start throwing rice! How is a man like a used car? Both are easy to get, cheap, and unreliable!
What do you call a group of men waiting for a haircut? A barbercue
How does the man help clean the house? Raising the feet, for the woman to pass the vacuum cleaner on the carpet.
Older women to her friend about remarrying, “When I pass away I want my husband to be so upset he has to drop out of college.”
I just asked my husband if he remembers what today is... Scaring men is easy.
How is Colonel Sanders like the typical male? All he's concerned with is legs, breasts and thighs.
What did God say after creating man? I can do so much better.
Don't break a man's heart; they only have one. Break their bones. They have over 200 of them.
How do males exercise on the beach? By sucking in their stomachs every time they see a bikini.
After a quarrel, a husband said to his wife, "You know, I was a fool when I married you." She replied, "Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn't notice."
How can you tell if your man is happy? Who cares?
What are a married man's two greatest assets? A closed mouth and an open wallet.
When would you want a man's company? When he owns it.
Why does a penis have a hole in the end? So men can be open minded.
How does a man show that he is planning for the future? He buys two cases of beer.
Why did Dorothy get lost on her way to the Emerald City? Becuase she was being led by three boys
What's the difference between a G-Spot and a golf ball? A guy will actually SEARCH for a golf ball.
What's the difference between a man and a condom? Condoms have changed. They're no longer thick and insensitive!
Why do some guys have Red Eyes after se*? Mace.
Husband: "Want a quickie?"
Wife: "As opposed to what?"
Go to BabaMail
