What's the difference between a knife and an argument with a man?
The knife has a point.
I just asked my husband if he remembers what today is... Scaring men is easy.
What do you call a man who cries while he masturbates? A tearjerker.
What does a man consider a seven-course meal? A hot dog and a six pack of beer.
Why did God even create men?
Because He couldn’t figure out how to make a vibrator that would mow the lawn.
How many men does it take to open a beer? none. the lady should already have it open on the table!
What’s the difference between a clitoris and a golf ball?
A man will actually look for a golf ball.
When wearing a bikini, women reveal 90 % of their body... men are so polite they only look at the covered parts.
When my boss asked me who is the stupid one, me or him? I told him everyone knows he doesn't hire stupid people.
What do you call a group of men waiting for a haircut? A barbercue
What makes a man think about a dinner by candlelight? A power failure.
A rockstar, a biker, and a cowboy walk into a bar... There's no punchline, it's just a fantasy of mine.
How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?
I don't know, it's never happened.
What do you call a Guy who Masterbates more than twice a day? A Terrorwrist
How many knees do men really have? 3 - right knee, left knee and their wee-knee.
What do you call a man with a car on his head? Jack
Why shouldn’t you trust a guy who claims he “wears the pants”?
He probably lies about other stuff too.
My ex husband went to a colonoscopy the other day.
Good news: They found his head!
What do you give a man with everything? Penicillin.
Why do men have a hole in their penis? So their brains can get some oxygen now and then.
What’s the definition of a perpetual bachelor?
A man who’s missed the opportunity to make a woman miserable.
People ask me if I wake up grumpy in the morning.
No, I say. I just bring him some coffee.
How long does it take a man to change the toilet paper? We don't know it's never happened. What's the definition of a woman's perfect lover? A man with a nine inch tongue who can breath through his ears.
Why did god invent men? Because vibrators can't mow the lawn
Why don't some men have a mid-life crisis? They're stuck in adolescence.
My husband asked why I never blink during se*.
I told him I didn’t have time to.
Women sometimes make fools of men, but most guys are the do-it-yourself type.
How do you get a man to stop biting his nails? Make him wear shoes.
My wife is so negative. I remembered the car seat, the stroller, AND the diaper bag. Yet all she can talk about is how I forgot the baby.
Why shouldn’t you let a man’s mind wander?
Because it’s way too little to be out all alone.
Me: Would you like to be the sun in my life?
Him: Awww, of course!
Me: Good then stay 92.96 million miles away from me.
What do you call 2 guys fighting over a slut? Tug-of-whore.
How does a man show he's planning for the future? He buys two cases of beer instead of one.
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
A recent study has found that women who carry a little extra weight live longer than the men who mention it.
How does the man help clean the house? Raising the feet, for the woman to pass the vacuum cleaner on the carpet.
Why did the man keep going in circles? He didn't get the point.
A couple is lying in bed.
The man says, "I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world."
The woman says, "I'll miss you."
Time waits for no man, time is obviously a woman.
Why don't women blink during se*? There isn't enough time.
I told my boyfriend we could watch a dirty movie for his birthday and do what we saw in the video.
He was super excited... until I screwed the pizza guy.
A boy has SWAG.
A man has STYLE.
A gentleman has CLASS.
How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb? One. He just holds it up there and waits for the world to revolve around him.
Why do men have 2 heads and women 4 lips? Cause men do all the thinking and women do all the talking.
What’s the best way to find a truly committed man?
Visit the closest mental hospital.
Go to BabaMail
