Why don't women blink during se*? There isn't enough time.
What do bulletproof vests, fire escapes, windshield wipers, and laser printers all have in common? All invented by women.
How many men does it take to open a beer? none. the lady should already have it open on the table!
Husband: Who do you like better, a smart guy or a handsome guy?
Wife: Neither. I only like you.
Why do some guys have Red Eyes after se*? Mace.
Why are all dumb blonde jokes one liners? So men can understand them. Why did God create man before woman? Because you're always supposed to have a rough draft before creating your masterpiece.
How does a man show that he is planning for the future? He buys two cases of beer.
What's the difference between a G-Spot and a golf ball? A guy will actually SEARCH for a golf ball.
Me: Would you like to be the sun in my life?
Him: Awww, of course!
Me: Good then stay 92.96 million miles away from me.
Why do men get their great ideas in bed? Because their plugged into a genius!
A groom waits at the altar with a huge smile on his face.
His best man asks, "Why do you look so excited?"
The groom replies, "I just had the best blow job I have ever had in my entire life, and I am marrying the wonderful woman who gave it to me."
The bride waits at the other end of the aisle with a huge smile on her face. Her maid of honor asks, "Why do you look so excited?"
The bride replies, "I just gave the last blow job of my entire life."
What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name? You didn't hold the pillow down long enough.
Why does a penis have a hole in the end? So men can be open minded.
What is the difference between a sofa and a man watching Monday Night Football? The sofa doesn't keep asking for beer.
What do you call a man with a car on his head? Jack
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