How do you get a man to have the best orgasm possible?
Who cares?
What's the most common sleeping position of a man? Around. What does a penis and an ego have in common? All men have one!
A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word.
An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position.
As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically,
"Relatives of yours?"
"Yep," the wife replied, "in-laws."
A rockstar, a biker, and a cowboy walk into a bar... There's no punchline, it's just a fantasy of mine.
Time waits for no man, time is obviously a woman.
How does a man show he's planning for the future? He buys two cases of beer instead of one.
What do you call a man who’s lost 95 percent of his intelligence?
Divorced.
A recent study has found that women who carry a little extra weight live longer than the men who mention it.
How can you tell when a man is well hung? When you can just barely slip your finger in between his neck and the noose.
What is the difference between a man and a tree? One is illegal to hit with an ax.
My wife is so negative. I remembered the car seat, the stroller, AND the diaper bag. Yet all she can talk about is how I forgot the baby.
How are husbands like lawn mowers? They're hard to get started, they emit noxious fumes, and half the time they don't work.
Why does a penis have a hole in the end? So men can be open minded.
What do you call a Guy who Masterbates more than twice a day? A Terrorwrist
When will a guy ignore even the hottest girl? Right after he "comes" inside. Why do little boys whine? Because they're practicing to be men.
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