A couple is lying in bed.
The man says, "I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world."
The woman says, "I'll miss you."
What did God say after creating man? I must be able to do better than that.
“Gravity is the story of how George Clooney would rather float away into space and die than spend one more minute with a woman his own age”
A third-grade teacher is getting to know her pupils on the first day of school.
She turns to one little girl and says, ‘And what does your daddy do?’
The girl replies, ‘Whatever Mummy tells him to.’
How do you find a blind man in a nudist colony? It's not hard.
A recent study has found that women who carry a little extra weight live longer than the men who mention it.
What do you call a group of men waiting for a haircut? A barbercue
My boyfriend told me once that I need to be more affectionate.
Now I have two boyfriends.
Why can't men get mad cow disease? Because they are pigs.
Why did Dorothy get lost on her way to the Emerald City? Becuase she was being led by three boys
When would you want a man's company? When he owns it.
What makes a man think about a dinner by candlelight? A power failure.
What's the difference between Big Foot and intelligent man? Big Foot has been spotted several times.
Husband: "Want a quickie?"
Wife: "As opposed to what?"
Why shouldn’t you trust a guy who claims he “wears the pants”?
He probably lies about other stuff too.
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