What do you call a Guy who Masterbates more than twice a day? A Terrorwrist
Why don't women blink during se*? There isn't enough time.
Why are men like cars? Because they always pull out before they check to see if anyone else is cumming.
What did God say after creating man? I must be able to do better than that.
Where does a mansplainer get his water?
From a well, actually.
How many knees do men really have? 3 - right knee, left knee and their wee-knee.
How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail? Rename the mail folder "Instruction Manuals."
How many men does it take to open a beer? none. the lady should already have it open on the table!
If February is Black History Month and March is Women’s History Month, what happens the rest of the year?
Discrimination.
What do you call a married man vacuuming? Doing what he's told...
How does a man show he's planning for the future? He buys two cases of beer instead of one.
How do you scare a man? Sneak up behind him and start throwing rice! How is a man like a used car? Both are easy to get, cheap, and unreliable!
Women sometimes make fools of men, but most guys are the do-it-yourself type.
My wife is so negative. I remembered the car seat, the stroller, AND the diaper bag. Yet all she can talk about is how I forgot the baby.
How long does it take a man to change the toilet paper? We don't know it's never happened. What's the definition of a woman's perfect lover? A man with a nine inch tongue who can breath through his ears.
What do men and mascara have in common? They both run at the first sign of emotion.
What do a balloon and a man have in common?
One prick pretty much ruins them.
Why do men prefer blondes? Because they like intellectual companionship.
What do a clitoris, an anniversary, and a toilet have in common?
Men always miss them.
Did you hear about the new "morning after" pill for men? A. It changes their DNA.
Why did the man keep going in circles? He didn't get the point.
Why did God create man before woman? He didn't want any advice.
My boyfriend asked me if I wanted a threesome which of his friends I'd choose.
I shouldn't have named two.
Why can't men get mad cow disease? Because they are pigs.
What is the difference between a glass of wine and a man? A glass of wine hits the spot everytime.
What’s the difference between a knife and an argumentative man?
A knife has a point.
A man, during his night prays, asks God: "Oh, Lord... Why you’ve made women so beautiful?"
God replies: "So you can love them, my child."
"Fine, but my Lord, why you’ve made them so stupid?"
"So that they can love you back..."
What do you call a group of men waiting for a haircut? A barbercue
What does a man consider a seven-course meal? A hot dog and a six pack of beer.
What do you call a man with a car on his head? Jack
How come it’s so hard to make a fool out of a man?
Because most of them are the DIY type in that way.
A boy has SWAG.
A man has STYLE.
A gentleman has CLASS.
What do you give a man with everything? Penicillin.
What's a man's idea of honesty in a relationship? Telling you his real name.
How does a man show that he is planning for the future? He buys two cases of beer.
How does the man help clean the house? Raising the feet, for the woman to pass the vacuum cleaner on the carpet.
Why did god invent men? Because vibrators can't mow the lawn
What are a married man's two greatest assets? A closed mouth and an open wallet.
What is the main difference between men and boys? Men's toys cost more.
Ice hockey is basically just guys wearing knife shoes fighting each other with long sticks for the last Oreo.
What's the most common sleeping position of a man? Around. What does a penis and an ego have in common? All men have one!
How can you tell when a man is well hung? When you can just barely slip your finger in between his neck and the noose.
The best way to get your husband to do something is to suggest he’s too old to do it.
What's the difference between a G-Spot and a golf ball? A guy will actually SEARCH for a golf ball.
Women spend more time wondering what men are thinking than men spend thinking.
Why does it take a million sperm to fertilize one egg?
They really are too damn proud to stop and ask for directions.
How do men define a "50/50" relationship? We cook-they eat; we clean-they dirty; we iron-they wrinkle.
Husband: Who do you like better, a smart guy or a handsome guy?
Wife: Neither. I only like you.
What did the elephant say to a naked man? Hey that's cute but can you breath through it?
A rockstar, a biker, and a cowboy walk into a bar... There's no punchline, it's just a fantasy of mine.
Go to BabaMail
