Chuck Norris looked directly at the sun today...
And the sun got so scared it hid behind the moon.
Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch. He decides what time it is.
M.C. Hammer learned the hard way that Chuck Norris CAN touch this.
Chuck Norris can tie his shoes with his feet.
Chuck Norris was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin. The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop.
Before he forgot to bring a gift for Chuck Norris, Santa Claus was real.
Chuck Norris once trew a party.
It still hasn't landed.
Chuck Norris had to stop washing his clothes in the ocean. Too many tsunamis.
Chuck Norris can delete the recycling bin.
Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
When Chuck Norris enters the room, even the chairs are standing up.
Chuck Norris is what Willis was talkin about.
Chuck Norris once threw a grenade and killed 50 people
Then the grenade exploded.
Chuck Norris once shot an enemy plane down with his finger, by yelling, “Bang!”
What does Chuck Norris say when fishing?
"you, you and you, get out."
When a zombie apocalypse starts, Chuck Norris doesn't try to survive. The zombies do.
Chuck Norris breathes air … five times a day.
Chuck Norris just put up a new sign outside his house...
It says 'Welcome, Spanish Inquisition!'
How does Chuck Norris sharpen his blades?
By shaving with them.
Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table because he only recognizes the element of surprise.
The Dead Sea used to be alive...
... but then Chuck Norris swam in it.
The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out. It didn’t work.
Why did Chuck Norris wear knee pads?
He never liked Bruised Knee.
The only time Chuck Norris was ever wrong was when he thought he had made a mistake.
Since 1940, the year Chuck Norris was born, roundhouse kick related deaths have increased 13,000 percent.
Chuck Norris is a coward!
If that sucker was so brave as people say he would show up here right now and smash my head against my key
The saddest moment for a child is not when he learns Santa Claus isn't real, it's when he learns Chuck Norris is.
Chuck Norris once stared into the abyss...
It blinked.
Big foot claims he saw Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris makes onions cry.
Chuck Norris can speak French... In Russian.
Chuck Norris can stand at the bottom of a bottomless pit.
Chuck Norris walks into a bar...
The bar breaks in half.
Chuck Norris once climbed Mt. Everest in 15 minutes, 14 of which he was building a snowman at the bottom.
Chuck Norris can kill your imaginary friends.
This morning Chuck Norris was shot.
Check the news, The bullet is in critical condition
Chuck Norris can hit you so hard your blood will bleed.
Chuck Norris can clap with one hand.
Chuck Norris once had a heart attack. His heart lost.
Chuck Norris doesn't need to flush the toilet. He simply goes "Boo!" and anything in the bowl promptly rushes away.
Chuck Norris' keyboard doesn't have a Ctrl key, because nothing controls Chuck Norris.
The flu gets a Chuck Norris shot every year.
When Chuck Norris was born, the only person who cried was the doctor. Never slap Chuck Norris.
What kind of House does Chuck Norris live in?
A Round House.
Some kids pee their name in the snow. Chuck Norris can pee his name in dry concrete.
Chuck Norris doesn't cheat death. He wins fair and square.
Waldo once insulted chuck norris.
And we all know how THAT'S going.
The real reason Hitler killed himself is because he found out that Chuck Norris is Jewish.
When Chuck Norris goes skydiving
the earth falls toward him.
Chuck Norris knows Victoria's secret.
Go to BabaMail
