When Chuck Norris was born he drove his mom home from the hospital.
Chuck Norris can strangle you with a cordless phone.
Before he forgot to bring a gift for Chuck Norris, Santa Claus was real.
What does Chuck Norris say when fishing?
"you, you and you, get out."
Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost.
Chuck Norris once round-house kicked a salesman. Over the phone.
When Alexander Graham Bell invented the telephone he had three missed calls from Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris has died aged 79.
But Death is too scared to let him know.
Chuck Norris’ calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd, because no one fools Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris once had a heart attack. His heart lost.
When Chuck Norris writes, he makes paper bleed.
Chuck Norris once threw a grenade and killed 50 people
Then the grenade exploded.
Chuck Norris once went to mars. Thats why there are no signs of life.
Chuck Norris once stared into the abyss...
It blinked.
What's the one office supply you never want to ask Chuck Norris to give you?
The Three-Hole Punch.
Chuck Norris can cut a knife with butter.
Chuck Norris can beat his reflection at rock paper scissors.
Chuck Norris can speak braille.
In Pamplona, Spain, the people may be running from the bulls, but the bulls are running from Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle.
When Chuck Norris enters a room, he doesn’t turn the lights on,
he turns the dark off.
Chuck Norris spices up his steaks with pepper spray.
Chuck Norris looked directly at the sun today...
And the sun got so scared it hid behind the moon.
Death once had a near-Chuck-Norris experience.
Chuck Norris once trew a party.
It still hasn't landed.
Chuck Norris can slam revolving doors.
Chuck Norris is the only person on the planet that can kick you in the back of the face.
Superman owns a pair of Chuck Norris undies.
Why did Chuck Norris cross the road?
He didn't. The road moved back underneath him.
When Bruce Banner gets mad he turns into the Hulk. When the Hulk gets mad he turns into Chuck Norris. When Chuck Norris gets mad, run.
Chuck Norris is what Willis was talkin about.
Chuck Norris plays russian roulette with a fully loded revolver... and wins.
In the Beginning there was nothing … then Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked nothing and told it to get a job.
Time waits for no man. Unless that man is Chuck Norris.
When a zombie apocalypse starts, Chuck Norris doesn't try to survive. The zombies do.
It’s a little known fact that chuck Norris was dropped twice as a child.
Once on Hiroshima and once on Nagasaki.
Have you heard that Chuck Norris has started building non-sqaure homes?
He's on a round house kick.
Chuck Norris' dog is trained to pick up his own poop because Chuck Norris will not take shit from anyone.
Did you know Chuck Norris was in every star wars movie?
He played the force.
Chuck Norris' keyboard doesn't have a Ctrl key, because nothing controls Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can ski up a mountain.
Chuck Norris can drown a fish.
Chuck Norris's Blood Type is AK-47.
Why did Chuck Norris wear knee pads?
He never liked Bruised Knee.
Chuck Norris can kill your imaginary friends.
Chuck Norris just put up a new sign outside his house...
It says 'Welcome, Spanish Inquisition!'
Chuck Norris can build a snowman out of rain.
The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out. It didn’t work.
There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.
Go to BabaMail
