What kind of House does Chuck Norris live in?
A Round House.
Chuck Norris can have both feet on the ground and kick butt at the same time
Chuck Norris can dribble a bowling ball.
Chuck Norris can slam revolving doors.
Chuck Norris plays russian roulette with a fully loded revolver... and wins.
The only time Chuck Norris was ever wrong was when he thought he had made a mistake.
Chuck Norris doesn't play "hide-and-seek." He plays "hide-and-pray-I-don't-find-you."
We live in an expanding universe. All of it is trying to get away from Chuck Norris.
Earlier today I was wondering if it was possible to abort Chuck Norris..
..then I realized he was aborted.
Chuck Norris once had a heart attack. His heart lost.
What was going through the minds of all of Chuck Norris' victims before they died?
His Shoe.
It takes Chuck Norris 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.
Chuck Norris doesn’t mow his lawn
He sits on his porch and dares it to grow.
Naming a bridge after Chuck Norris is a really bad idea
Because no one crosses Chuck Norris.
When Chuck Norris goes scuba diving
He gives the water the bends.
This morning Chuck Norris was shot.
Check the news, The bullet is in critical condition
When Chuck Norris writes, he makes paper bleed.
When Chuck Norris enters the room, even the chairs are standing up.
Chuck Norris's Blood Type is AK-47.
Superman owns a pair of Chuck Norris undies.
Police label anyone attacking Chuck Norris as a Code 45-11.... a suicide.
Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its descendants are now known as giraffes.
It’s a little known fact that chuck Norris was dropped twice as a child.
Once on Hiroshima and once on Nagasaki.
Chuck Norris has died.
He has since recovered from this mild inconvenience.
Chuck Norris can drown a fish.
Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.
In the Beginning there was nothing … then Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked nothing and told it to get a job.
The real reason Hitler killed himself is because he found out that Chuck Norris is Jewish.
Chuck Norris doesn't have a roof in his house
Cold and wind don't dare come in.
Chuck Norris has died aged 79.
But Death is too scared to let him know.
If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever.
Chuck Norris can speak braille.
Chuck Norris has a bear rug.
No it's not dead it's just too scared to move
Chuck Norris can cut a knife with butter.
When Chuck Norris enters a room, he doesn’t turn the lights on,
he turns the dark off.
Chuck Norris breathes air … five times a day.
When Chuck Norris smokes a joint
the weed gets high of Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris once round-house kicked a salesman. Over the phone.
When Chuck Norris was born, the only person who cried was the doctor. Never slap Chuck Norris.
When Chuck Norris goes skydiving
the earth falls toward him.
Chuck Norris can beat his reflection at rock paper scissors.
Chuck Norris walks into a bar...
The bar breaks in half.
Chuck Norris fell into a black hole.
The black hole couldn't escape.
Chuck Norris doesn't cheat death. He wins fair and square.
Chuck Norris’ tears can cure you of the coronavirus.
Too bad he doesn’t cry.
Chuck Norris just put up a new sign outside his house...
It says 'Welcome, Spanish Inquisition!'
When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he’s pushing the Earth down.
Freddy Krueger has nightmares about Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris doesn’t shower, he only takes blood baths.
Waldo once insulted chuck norris.
And we all know how THAT'S going.
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