Chuck Norris doesn't play "hide-and-seek." He plays "hide-and-pray-I-don't-find-you."
Chuck Norris can speak braille.
Brett Favre can throw a football over 50 yards. Chuck Norris can throw Brett Favre even further.
If it looks like chicken, tastes like chicken, and feels like chicken but Chuck Norris says its beef, then it's beef.
Chuck Norris once went skydiving, but promised never to do it again. One Grand Canyon is enough.
Waldo once insulted chuck norris.
And we all know how THAT'S going.
Earlier today I was wondering if it was possible to abort Chuck Norris..
..then I realized he was aborted.
Chuck Norris walks into a bar...
The bar breaks in half.
What's the one office supply you never want to ask Chuck Norris to give you?
The Three-Hole Punch.
Chuck Norris once bowled a perfect game with a marble.
Chuck Norris was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin. The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop.
When Chuck Norris gives you the finger, he's telling you how many seconds you have left to live.
Chuck Norris once round-house kicked a salesman. Over the phone.
Chuck Norris caught Covid-19 yesterday
The virus is quarantined for two weeks
When Chuck Norris was born he drove his mom home from the hospital.
Chuck Norris does not own a stove, oven, or microwave , because revenge is a dish best served cold.
Chuck Norris has a bear rug.
No it's not dead it's just too scared to move
Chuck Norris once went to mars. Thats why there are no signs of life.
Chuck Norris doesn’t shower, he only takes blood baths.
Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
When Chuck Norris moved out, his dad became the man of the house.
There is no chin behind Chuck Norris’ beard. There is only another fist.
Chuck Norris has died aged 79.
But Death is too scared to let him know.
Did you know Chuck Norris was in every star wars movie?
He played the force.
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