Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost.
Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its descendants are now known as giraffes.
In the Beginning there was nothing … then Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked nothing and told it to get a job.
Chuck Norris was bitten by the worlds most venemous snake.
After hours of excruciating pain and misery, the snake died.
The reason the Holy Grail has never been recovered is because nobody is brave enough to ask Chuck Norris to give up his favourite coffee mug.
Since 1940, the year Chuck Norris was born, roundhouse kick related deaths have increased 13,000 percent.
When Chuck Norris was born he drove his mom home from the hospital.
Chuck Norris doesn't need to flush the toilet. He simply goes "Boo!" and anything in the bowl promptly rushes away.
Have you heard that Chuck Norris has started building non-sqaure homes?
He's on a round house kick.
Chuck Norris can slam revolving doors.
Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at a Burger King. He got it.
Waldo once insulted chuck norris.
And we all know how THAT'S going.
Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.
Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did.
Death once had a near-Chuck-Norris experience.
Why did Chuck Norris wear knee pads?
He never liked Bruised Knee.
Chuck Norris walks into a bar...
The bar breaks in half.
Chuck Norris doesn't hoard toilet paper.
He's used the same napkin since 1974. He just scares the sh*t out of it.
There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.
Chuck Norris doesn't ever call the wrong number. You just answer the wrong phone.
Chuck Norris can dribble a bowling ball.
Chuck Norris can hear sign language.
Chuck Norris can drown a fish.
Chuck Norris doesn't have good aim. His bullets just know better than to miss.
Chuck Norris fell down from a 10 story building.
people start gathering around him, asking "What happened? what happened?"
Chuck: "Don't know, I just got here."
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