Chuck Norris doesn't have good aim. His bullets just know better than to miss.
Chuck Norris changed a lightbulb...
With one hand he held the bulb, with the other he turned the house.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity… twice.
Chuck Norris once heard that nothing can kill him
So he tracked down nothing and killed it.
Chuck Norris is the only person that can punch a cyclops between the eye.
Earlier today I was wondering if it was possible to abort Chuck Norris..
..then I realized he was aborted.
Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
Chuck Norris has a mug of nails instead of coffee in the morning.
This morning Chuck Norris was shot.
Check the news, The bullet is in critical condition
Chuck Norris doesn’t mow his lawn
He sits on his porch and dares it to grow.
Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its descendants are now known as giraffes.
Chuck Norris invented airplanes because he was tired of being the only person that could fly.
Brett Favre can throw a football over 50 yards. Chuck Norris can throw Brett Favre even further.
Chuck Norris once had a heart attack. His heart lost.
When Chuck Norris moved out, his dad became the man of the house.
What's the one office supply you never want to ask Chuck Norris to give you?
The Three-Hole Punch.
When Chuck Norris does division, there are no remainders.
M.C. Hammer learned the hard way that Chuck Norris CAN touch this.
Chuck Norris won a 10 minute race after giving his competitors a 10 minute head start.
We live in an expanding universe. All of it is trying to get away from Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris knows the last digit of Pi.
Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
Chuck Norris has a bear rug.
No it's not dead it's just too scared to move
Chuck Norris does not own a stove, oven, or microwave , because revenge is a dish best served cold.
In the Beginning there was nothing … then Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked nothing and told it to get a job.
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