• Mid-life is when you go to the doctor and you realize you are now so old, you have to pay someone to look at you naked.
• The good news about mid-life is that the glass is still half-full - of course, the bad news is that it won't be long before your teeth are floating in it...
• Mid-life is when you start to repeat yourself, and your chins follow suit.
• Mid-life is when you want to grab every firm young lovely in a tube top and scream: "Listen, honey, even the Roman Empire fell, and those things will too!"
• You become more reflective in mid-life. You start pondering the "big" questions - What is life? Why am I here? How much Healthy Choice ice cream can I eat before it's no longer a healthy choice?
• Mid-life brings the wisdom that life throws you curves... and that you're now sitting on your biggest ones.
• Mid-life has hit you when you stand naked in front of a mirror and can see your rear end without turning around.
• Mid-life women no longer have upper arms, they have wingspans... They are no longer women in sleeveless shirts, they are flying squirrels in drag.
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