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u jfjfjfjfj Jokes

u jfjfjfjfj Jokes and more.
Cycling Pick Up Lines
Unicycle? Girl! How about U-‘n’-I cycle?
Math Pick Up Lines
I=f(U), I can't function without you.
I was supposed to solve for X. I am so glad that I found U instead.
I heard you like math, so what’s the sum of U+Me?
Valentines Day Puns
I've been thinking of U periodically.
Have You Met the Van Gogh Family?
Did you know the painter Vincent van Gogh had a very large family? There's his dizzy aunt, Verti Gogh The brother who ate prunes, Gotta Gogh The brother who worked at a convenience store, Stop N Gogh The grandfather from Yugoslavia, U Gogh His magician uncle, Wherediddy Gogh His Mexican cousin, A Mee Gogh The Mexican cousin's American half brother, Gring Gogh The nephew who drove a stage coach, Wellsfar Gogh The constipated uncle, Can't Gogh The ballroom dancing aunt, ang Gogh The bird lover uncle, Flamin Gogh The fruit loving cousin, Man Gogh An aunt who taught positive thinking, WaytoGogh The little bouncy nephew, Poe Gogh A sister who loved disco, Go Gogh And his niece who travels the country in an RV, Winnie Bay Gogh I saw you smiling, there ya Gogh!
Toilet Puns
Why did E come out of the bathroom U?
He must've had a vowel movement.
Ear Puns
What do you call a giant gorilla with pean u t butter in one ear and Jam in the other?
Anything you want, he's not going to hear you!
Shark Puns
What do you call a shark that can’t stop singing “U Cant Touch This?”
An M.C. Hammerhead.
Food Pick Up Lines
I have these chicken n_ggets. Now all I need is U!
Truck Puns
If a police officer pulls a U-Haul truck over...
did he just bust a move?
Nerdy Pick Up Lines
My favorite element on the periodic table is Uranium, because I am in love with U.
Are you made of uranium? I’m made of iodine! That explains why all I can see is U and I together.
British Pick Up Lines
Are you from the U.K.? Because I want U, K?
Heart Puns
Which alphabet gang strikes fear in the hearts of the other letters?
I Q U.
One Liners for Kids
What four letters will frighten a burglar? O I C U Where does bad light go? To prism!
Sibling Puns
What does your little sibling and Q have in common?
They will always rely on U.
Elf Puns
What do elves use in the kitchen when they are cooking?
Kitchen u-tinsels!
Apple Puns
What do u get from a perverted apple? Hard Cider.
Language Pick Up Lines
Do you wanna go to a restaurant?
You can't spell “menu” without me and u.
I don’t know how to spell beautiful. all I know is without u, it’s impossible.
If I could rearrange the alphabet, I’d put ‘U’ and ‘I’ together.
There are 21 letters in the alphabet right? Oh wait, I forgot u, r, a, q, t.
Little Johnny's Spelling
I invited my boss and her husband over for dinner and while we were eating she asked my son, Little Johnny, what he learned about in school that day. I said that we usually play a "four clues" game where we have to guess and she thought that would be fun. So Johnny gave his first clue: It's kind of round and covered with hair. That didn't narrow it down much so he went to his second clue: It can be full of liquid that you can access through a crack. Nobody had an idea yet, though knowing Johnny I was starting to get anxious. He gave his third clue: When mommy and daddy were unpacking and changing from a day at the beach I peeked into their room and saw that mommy had one and daddy didn't. Still no guesses from anyone but I was starting to panic. Johnny gave his final clue: It contains the letters , N, U, C and T. My wife saved my career when she quickly blurted out COCONUT!
Utensils Puns
What do Santa’s elves cook with in the kitchen?
A u-tinsel.
One Liners and Short Jokes
An American is typing on a computer when he flies into a rage, shouting "How the hell am I misspelling color"?
A Canadian takes a quick look at the screen before rolling his eyes and walking away, saying "that sounds like a u problem".
Romantic Pick Up Lines
I like 25 letters of the alphabet
But I love U.
I thought happiness started with an H. Why does mine start with U?
Travel Pick Up Lines
Are you from the U.K.? Because I want U, K?
The Cheeky Nurse
A male patient was lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose, still heavily sedated from a difficult four-hour surgical procedure. A young student nurse came into his room, ready to give him a partial sponge bath. “Nurse,” he mumbled from behind the mask. “Are my testicles black?” Embarrassed, the young nurse replied: “I don't know, Sir. I'm only here to wash your upper body.” He struggled to ask again: “Nurse, are my testicles black?” Concerned that he might elevate his vitals from concern about his testicles, she overcame her embarrassment and sheepishly pulled back the covers. She raised his gown, held his penis in one hand and his testicles in the other, lifting and moving them around and around gently. Then, she took a close look and said: “No sir, they aren't. And I assure you, there's nothing wrong with them!!” The man weakly pulled off his oxygen mask, smiled at her and said, very slowly: “Thank you very much. That was wonderful, but listen very, very closely.... “A r e - m y - t e s t - r e s u l t s - b a c k?”
Divorce Puns
My wife and I split up.
She got the “U” and I got the “P”
Cheesy Pick Up Lines
Do you know what's on the menu tonight, girl?
Me 'n' U.
Toxic Pick Up Lines
I bet your muffled screams are as cute as u.
If I could rewrite the alphabet, I would P on U.
Hug Puns
What is the cutest car?
A BM-cuddle-U
Rejection Pick Up Lines
Boy: You know quickie has u And i together.
Girl: Too bad ugly starts with a u.
Man: "If I could rearrange the alphabet I would put U and I together."
Woman: "They got it right the first time with the N and O."
Pick Up Lines
You know what’s on the menu? ME-N-U
I thought Happiness starts with H. But why does mine starts with U.
Medical Pick Up Lines
I wonder if you can help me? I seem to be suffering from a lack of Vitamin U.
Funny Break Up Lines
If I could rearrange the alphabet, I’d put I at the beginning and U at the end.
I see my future like how the Americans spell colour. Without u.
Honey if I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put the letters "DON'T LOVE" in between I and U
Weather Pick Up Lines
Was that an earthquake or did u just rock my world?
Unicorn Puns
What did the unicorn tell the bag of beans? U-no-corn.
When the chef asked which ingredients were missing in the signature dish, someone said quickly, ‘u-need-corn’.
Chemistry Pick Up Lines
In my own version of the periodic table of elements, the number one element is U.
Permit me to restructure the periodic table of elements and I would place U and I together.
Do you know why Uranium is my favorite element on the periodic table of elements? That’s because I love U!
Anti Pick Up Lines
If I could rearrange the alphabet I’d move U.
Because you’re blocking the TV.