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sheep Jokes

sheep Jokes and more.
Chocolate Puns
What do you call a sheep covered in chocolate?
A candy baa.
A Blond Changes Hair Color
There was a blonde who was sick of all the blonde jokes. One day, she decided to get a makeover, so she cut and dyed her hair. She went driving down a country road and came across a herd of sheep. She stopped and called the sheep herder over. "Tell you what. I have a proposition for you," said the woman. "If I can guess the exact number of sheep in your flock, can I take one home?" "Sure," said the sheep herder. So, she sat up and looked at the herd for a second and then replied "382". "Wow!" said the herder. "That is exactly right. Go ahead and pick out the sheep you want to take home." So the woman went and picked one out and put it in her car. Then, the herder said, "Okay, now I have a proposition for you". "What is it?" queried the woman. "If I can guess the real color of your hair, can I have my dog back?"
Giant Puns
Why does it take so long to shave a giant sheep with normal-sized clippers?
Shear size.
Animal Pick Up Lines
Are you a sheep cause your body is unbaaaaalievable.
Drum Puns
A sheep, a drum and a snake fall down a cliff,
Ba-dum-tss
Little Johnny is Fascinated
The teacher asked the class to use the word “fascinate” in a sentence. Molly put up her hand and said, “My family went to my granddad's farm, and we all saw his pet sheep. It was fascinating." The teacher said, “That was good, but I wanted you to use the word ‘fascinate,’ not 'fascinating'.” Caroline raised her hand. She said, “My family went to see New York City and I was fascinated.” The teacher sighed and said, “Well, that was good Caroline, but I wanted you to use the word ‘fascinate’.” Little Johnny raised his hand, now the teacher knew he was a bit of a scamp, but she was desperate to finish this lessons, so she finally decided there was no way he could damage the word “fascinate.” She sighed. "Go head, Johnny." Little Johnny smiles, “My aunt Carolyn has a sweater with ten buttons, but her breasts are so big she can only fasten eight!” The teacher sat down and cried.
Funny Tongue Twisters
Silly Sally swiftly shooed seven silly sheep. The seven silly sheep Silly Sally shooed shilly-shallied south. These sheep shouldn’t sleep in a shack; sheep should sleep in a shed.
Silly sheep weep and sleep.
The sixth sick sheik’s sixth sheep’s sick.
She sold six shabby sheared sheep on ship.
Wolf Puns
When you cross a sheep and a wolf, you will end up with a new sheep, you can’t make such a costly mistake with wolves.
Nerdy Pick Up Lines
If you where a sheep I would clone you.
Why Did Others Cross the Road? One Liners
How did the sheep cross the road?
It ram across.
Why did the sheep cross the road?
To get to the baa-baa shop for a haircut.
Bee Puns
What do you get when you cross a bee and a sheep?
A bah-humbug.
Leg Puns
What do you call a sheep with no legs?
A cloud.
Animal Puns
Sheep jokes are bad.
Really baaaaaaa-d.
Meat Puns
Sheep have a clever way of keeping all their four feet warm in the winter; they wear muttons.
Goat Puns
Did you hear the joke about the lumberjack, The sheep and the goat?
I wood tell ewe, but it’s a baaaaaad joke
Knight Puns
What would be one of the worst crimes to commit if you were a sheep living in the medieval times?
Muttiny
Mountain Puns
What do we call a flock of sheep that tumbles down a mountain? They are called a lamb-slide.
Hair Puns
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Where do sheep go to get their hair cut?
The baa-baa shop.
Why does it take so long to shave a giant sheep with normal sized clippers?
Shear size.
Sheep Puns
What do you call a sheep with no legs?
A cloud.
What is a grandma sheep called?
A baaaa-nana
I saw a sheep covered in plastic
It was lambinated.
The sheep says to the shepherd "you're an jerk and I hate you!" and the shepherd says "Say what?"
And the sheep goes "You herd me!"
What do you call a sheep with no legs?
A cloud.
A sheep, an idiot, and a snake walk into a bar.
Baaaa dumb hisssssss.
What kind of car does a sheep drive?
A LAMBorghini
What's a sheep's favorite art style?
Baa's Relief
What sound do 8 sheep make?
Octo-bah.
How do you measure the circumference of a Sheep?
Shepherds Pie
What do you call a quiet sheep?
A shhhhhhh-eep.
What style of classical music do sheep most enjoy?
Baa-roque
Someone told me that it takes 5 sheep to make a sweater.
I didn't know they could knit!
Why don't you want to sleep in the sheep pen?
It would be total bedlam!!
My brother was trampled to death by a flock of sheep.
May he rest in fleece.
What do you call a buffet for sheep?
All you can bleat!
How did the sheep farmer become best in his field?
Shear luck.
What do you get when you mix a sheep and a kangaroo
A wooly jumper
What do you get when you cross a bee and a sheep?
A bah-humbug.
Why won't the dog listen to the farmer's sheep jokes?
He's herd them all.
Did you hear about the sheep's jousting tournament?
It was a real baa-lancing act.
A female sheep and a couple of aggressive birds are sitting on the veranda. What language do they speak?
Porchewegeese.
My sheep-powered computer was starting to run slowly
So I added more ram
All the girls I meet keep thinking I’m a sheep.
Every time they see me they say “Ewe”
One Liners and Short Jokes
A Mathematician, an engineer and a physicist were traveling through Scotland when they saw a black sheep through the window of the train.

“Aha”, says the engineer, “I see that Scottish sheep are black.”

“Hmm”, says the physicist, “You mean that some Scottish sheep are black”.

“No”, says the mathematician, “All we know is that there is at least one sheep in Scotland, and that at least one side of that one sheep is black!”
A sheep dog says to the farmer, "I'm going to round up the sheep."
The dog comes back with 50 sheep. The farmers says, "we only have 48 sheep." The dog replies, "Yea, I told you I was going to round them up."
Snake Puns
A sheep, a drum, and a snake fall off a cliff.
Baa dum tssssss.
Car puns
Which car do sheep drive?

Su-baa-ru.
Summer Puns
Which country do sheep go on vacation? The Baaa-hamas.
It's So Cold.... One Liners
It’s so cold sheep were demanding their wool back.
Gun Puns
What do you call a sheep with a machine gun?
Lambo.
Vehicle Puns
did you hear the one about the sheep in car wreck?
it was baaad.
Christmas Puns
How do sheep greet each other during the holidays? Fleece Navidad!
Medieval Puns
How do Medieval sheep protest prisons?
They storm the baaaastille.
What would be one of the worst crimes to commit if you were a sheep living in the medieval times?
Muttiny
Milk Puns
How do you milk sheep ?
Release another iPhone.
One Liners for Kids
What do you call a sheep with no head and no legs? A cloud!
Where do sheep go to get haircuts? To the Baa Baa shop!
Kangaroo Puns
What do you get if you cross a kangaroo and a sheep?
A woolly good jumper.