“I’m not aging, I just need repotting.”
— Anonymous
Housework is for people who don’t know how to garden.”
— Anonymous
“Gardening. Cheaper than therapy (until your spouse adds up the receipts).”
— Anonymous
“Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.”
— Anonymous
“My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.”
– Mitch Hedburg
"Every garden is unique with a multitude of choices in soils, plants and themes. Finding your garden theme is as easy as seeing what brings a smile to your face."
- Teresa Watkins
"The philosopher who said that work well done never needs doing over never weeded a garden."
- Ray D. Everson
"A man should never plant a garden larger than his wife can take care of."
- T.H. Everett
"I have a rock garden. Last week three of them died."
- Richard Diran
"How do you compare apples and oranges?
By their nutritional value."
- Marshall Elizer
"I have no plants in my house. They won't live for me. Some of them don't even wait to die, they commit suicide."
- Jerry Seinfeld
“Don’t wear perfume in the garden – unless you want to be pollinated by bees.”
— Anne Raver
“Gardeners know the best dirt.”
— Anonymous
“An addiction to gardening is not all bad when you consider all the other choices in life.”
— Cora Lea Bell
"Your first job is to prepare the soil. The best tool for this is your neighbor's motorized garden tiller. If your neighbor does not own a garden tiller, suggest that he buy one."
- Dave Barry
"You can lead a horticulture but you can't make her think."
- Dorothy Parker
"The best way to garden is to put on a wide-brimmed straw hat and some old clothes. And with a hoe in one hand and a cold drink in the other, tell somebody else where to dig."
- Texas Bix Bender, Don't Throw in the Trowel
Growth takes time. Be patient. And while you’re waiting, pull a weed.
— Emilie Barnes
Gardening is a matter of your enthusiasm holding up until your back gets used to it
— Author Unknown
“You know you’re a gardener when you’re happy to devote three months of your life growing tomatoes to save $1.27.”
— Anonymous