"Gardening requires lots of water - most of it in the form of perspiration."
- Lou Erickson
Housework is for people who don’t know how to garden.”
— Anonymous
"A perfect summer day is when the sun is shining, the breeze is blowing, the birds are singing, and the lawn mower is broken."
- James Dent
"You can lead a horticulture but you can't make her think."
- Dorothy Parker
“Cauliflower is a cabbage with a college education.”
— Mark Twain
“I just want to let you know that if you ever need to have a plant killed, I’m the person for that job.”
— Anonymous
“Plant carrots in January and you’ll never have to eat carrots.”
— Anonymous
“Anyone who has time for drama is not gardening enough”
— Anonymous
“Weeds are nature’s graffiti.”
— Janice Maeditere
"I always thought a yard was three feet, then I started mowing the lawn."
- C.E. Cowman
"A weed is a plant that has mastered every survival skill except for learning how to grow in rows."
- Doug Larson
“I probably wouldn’t kill so many houseplants if they could scream for food and water the way my pets and children do.”
— Anonymous
Growth takes time. Be patient. And while you’re waiting, pull a weed.
— Emilie Barnes
"When I asked you to water the plants,
I did not expect you'd unzip your pants."
- Mike Garofalo
Gardening is a matter of your enthusiasm holding up until your back gets used to it
— Author Unknown
“Gardening. Cheaper than therapy (until your spouse adds up the receipts).”
— Anonymous
"Bulb: potential flower buried in Autumn, never to be seen again."
- Henry Beard
"I have a rock garden. Last week three of them died."
- Richard Diran
“Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.”
— Anonymous
“I have a green thumb. Got it when I dumped out my kale smoothie.”
— John Wagner Maxine