“Weeds are nature’s graffiti.”
— Janice Maeditere
"I have a rock garden. Last week three of them died."
- Richard Diran
“Anyone who has time for drama is not gardening enough”
— Anonymous
"Crabgrass can grow on bowling balls in airless rooms, and there is no known way to kill it that does not involve nuclear weapons."
- Dave Barry
“Money can’t buy happiness. But it can buy plants, and that’s the same thing.”
— Anonymous
"How do you compare apples and oranges?
By their nutritional value."
- Marshall Elizer
“I’m not aging, I just need repotting.”
— Anonymous
All gardeners know better than other gardeners.”
— Chinese Proverb
"What did the carrot say to the wheat?
Lettuce rest, I'm feeling beet."
- Shel Silverstein
"When did my wild oats turn to prunes and all bran?"
- Lucy Parker
"A man should never plant a garden larger than his wife can take care of."
- T.H. Everett
A weed is a plant that is not only in the wrong place but intends to stay.”
— Sara Stein
“An addiction to gardening is not all bad when you consider all the other choices in life.”
— Cora Lea Bell
“Early to bed, early to rise, work like hell and fertilize!”
— Anonymous
"Every garden is unique with a multitude of choices in soils, plants and themes. Finding your garden theme is as easy as seeing what brings a smile to your face."
- Teresa Watkins
Housework is for people who don’t know how to garden.”
— Anonymous
“My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.”
– Mitch Hedburg
“I have a green thumb. Got it when I dumped out my kale smoothie.”
— John Wagner Maxine
"Gardening requires lots of water - most of it in the form of perspiration."
- Lou Erickson
"Your first job is to prepare the soil. The best tool for this is your neighbor's motorized garden tiller. If your neighbor does not own a garden tiller, suggest that he buy one."
- Dave Barry