What do you call two watermelons that are not allowed to get married? A couple of can’t- elopes.
I always wondered why the watermelon loving librarian never touched any of the books; turns out she’d red them all.
What do you call a girl watermelon cop on the beat? A water fe-melon duty.
Did you hear about the fruit who was convicted of armed robbery?
“Now he’s a waterfelon.”
I once attended the saddest watermelon funeral I’ve ever been to. I gotta say, I’ve never seen anything so meloncholy in my life.
What do you call a watermelon that spends all day at the beauty spa? Must be a hottermmelon.
Why do watermelons take such a long time to make decisions?
“They’re always melon it over.”
What did the watermelon wife say to his stinky husband? You’ve got a strange smelon you today.
What did the father cantaloupe say to his son?
“Watermelon! (Water-my-lawn)”
What was the watermelon’s naughty pick-up line?
“Want to see my melons?”
So, how on earth did the police catch the watermelon thief without a solid description? Don’t really know; guess the bloke was acting seedy.
Why did one melon break up with the other melon?
“He didn’t know water problem was.”
They asked how the watermelon farmer felt after winning the lottery; clever bugger said he felt like a melon bucks.
So, what do you do with an epileptic watermelon? Simple, you make a seizure salad.
The forecast said that we’re in for a hot summer; better make sure I watermelon everyday or else the yard will dry up.
If Jim has 15 watermelons and throws one at Mary, what does Mary have?
“A really bad headache!”
What is the only time you start at the red and stop at the green?
“When you eat a watermelon!”
If that’s the case, would it be wrong to say that the unfaithful watermelon had an illegitimate daughtermelon?
What excuse did the late watermelon give his boss? He said be there in 5 boss, I’m just rind the corner.